Just because one network's venture into viral video greatness went belly up like so many silver leotard wearing contestants before them doesn't mean the craze has ended.

Next week marks the premiere of MTV's newest reality game show Silent Library, based on the game of the same name from the Japanese variety show Downtown no Gaki no Tsukai ya Arahende!!

For those who don't spend time watching videos forwarded to them by their friends and are therefore productive members of society, the game is played by six dunderheads in a "library." They each draw a card, five reading safe and one with a skull and crossbones on it. The player who draws the Jolly Roger has to do an uncomfortable or painful stunt, but must resist the urge to scream. It's the least intelligent use of a library since The Da Vinci Code hit the shelves.

The MTV version gets a heavier dose of game show. According to the show's trailer, each round is worth a certain amount of money and the level of quietness is judged by a stonefaced librarian/host. The team collectively takes home the dough and memories of their friends getting slapped by strippers and eating Cheetos out of a sweaty fat guy's man teats that are sure to last as long as their therapist charges them.


The whole thing really looks like an awful half hour of television, and this is coming from someone who loves the viral "Silent Library" videos and jokes that involve a grown man getting whacked in the bean bag with a remote controlled car.

The MTV version seems to have a heavier focus on gross-out stunts, as opposed to pain or discomfort bits. The stunts from the Japanese show are hilarious, from the face slapping machine to the under-the-shirt balloon bust, both of which are sure to come into play in the new show. There were a few gross-out gags in the Japanese show, but the torture challenges were way funnier and the games relied more on them.



There is also something viscerally unfunny about watching regular contestants getting abused for cash and prizes. Professional jackasses getting a full salary to damage their bodies for our amusement is one thing. Their sheer desperation to get on television makes the whole thing feel sad and depressing, rather than mildly amusing.

I watch these poor souls tongue-kiss salmon or digest a stranger's bodily fluids, and my brain conjures up the most depressing sob stories, as money is dangled over their heads like the sword of Damocles, all so they can pay for their kids' cooking school tuition or score a bus ticket to Scranton to witness the birth of their fifth illegitimate child. Then I wonder if these people are doing it just for the money and not some high-minded and noble cause, and the world suddenly feels a little bit smaller.