America's Got Talent: Audition show 5
by Isabelle Carreau, posted Jul 8th 2009 12:25AM
(S04E05) "Even The Hoff couldn't rescue us today." - Piers, about how bad the auditions had been that day in L.A.
Are we there yet? I enjoy watching America's Got Talent and all the various acts, but the audition process is once again this year torturing me. There are way too many audition episodes. Can't they cut down on the number of audition episodes and put some on the Internet as extra content? They could tease us with a quick montage and say that to see more of these acts we just have to go online. Are you with me on this?
Luckily, auditions installments are soon over and episodes will focus on better acts than the toe dancer or the 7th cousin to Celine Dion who thinks she got the Dion singing gene!
Some of the acts I didn't enjoy:
- "Nasty" Nathan Watkins, singer: As soon as he described himself as being mean and vicious and having sex appeal and charisma, I knew he would be "the bad act that doesn't know he sucks" of the night. As expected, "Nasty" didn't show us he could make Cher and Prince look like amateurs, as he said it. The crowed booed him almost instantly, and it didn't take long for the judges to X him due to his bad singing and terrible moves. Sadly, it looks like the "stay at home with mom for a living" man will continue trying to get his big break as a singer.
- Leland Faulkner, act with paper: Some people do very cool stuff with origami. I even recall a children's TV show where the host was teaching stories from the Bible by having small paper sets and characters, and most of those he did live during the show. Faulkner was terrible. White paper? No colors? No excitement? Not even origami? It's impressive to see what stupid acts people are willing to perform just to appear on the show.
- Iota Arcane, world's fastest poet: And I thought last week's poet was bad! Arcane was worst! Not only was the poem lame, but it was read way too fast! Poetry is about emotions, and his act was everything but emotional. I can't believe he thought he had a chance to go through to the next round!
- Footworks Fitness: Tap dancing mixed with aerobics is an original concept. If they had a good routine, performed on separate steps and added the energy we see in tap dancers, their act may be worth a ticket to Vegas. It wouldn't surprise me, though, if fitness tap dancing becomes a new course offered here and there around the country in gyms.
- Scott Weirder, kite flier: What?!? I don't know what to say about this ... I can't even call it an act. And to think that he didn't even prepare his kite for the performance!
- Terry Willis, singer: This 42-year-old who's been singing since she was three is a seventh cousin to Celine Dion. In case you didn't know, most of Celine's brothers and sisters are not too bad singers. However, it seems the singing gene stopped there and didn't spread further in the family because Terry was quite terrible. Poor Celine. I hope she didn't watch tonight's show because that was one of the worst performance of one of her songs on TV! Terry's performance was almost as embarrassing as when Celine's brothers and sisters botched up the beginning of a song on one of our Quebec TV shows about two years ago. If you want to see the Dion fiasco to compare, check the YouTube video of their performance.
- Robert "Monsieur Pedicure" Dunn, toe dancer: Oh. My God. That's what Dunn calls a talent? Any of us could have done that exact act without any practice and no toe coordination!
Some of the acts I don't know what to think about:
- Miss Germany, fire eating: Even if we haven't seen much, it seemed very daring and entertaining. But can she bring enough originality and new tricks for later rounds?
- Janice Martin, aerial silk mixed with opera singing and violin: She offered one of the most original and unique acts we've seen so far in the series. We didn't hear much of her singing and playing the violin so I don't know exactly what to think of the act yet, but it sounded okay. Playing the violin and singing is not easy to start with, so doing both while being on the aerial silk is impressive. Even if there's little chance she wins the competition, I'm sure her stay on the show will allow her to get attention from circus and similar attractions.
- Mario and Jennifer, circus performers: Their act may have been sexy and dangerous, but chainsaw juggling is nothing new. They did have good stage presence and a nice act set up. As Piers said, they do have the "Vegas performers" vibe, so it was no surprise, even if the act was not totally original, that they got through the next round. They must do something more unique for next round, or they may end up going home soon.
Some of the acts I enjoyed/loved:
- 17-year-old Bree, singer: For someone with a stuttering problem, it didn't show during her performance. This self-proclaimed nerd gave a solid singing performance, and her keyboard accompaniment worked well with the song. She definitely found the style of music that suits her voice which helped make her act entertaining.
- TJ & the Little Mamas, dancers: Very cute bunch of 6- to 9-year-olds. Outfits were a bit too sexy for my taste, but that didn't take away from their fun and energetic performance. They performed some very cool moves, especially for their age. I'm glad to see them move on, but I doubt they'll go far, as there are other very good dancing groups that went through the last two weeks.
- Lawrence Beaman, singer: Final act of the night. Sadly, last week's previews showed us that he was a very good singer so there was no surprise when he actually opened his mouth and started singing. He has a very deep and powerful voice that is reminiscent of Barry White or James Earl "This is CNN" Jones. Lawrence also has a style of singing that would be very fitting on Broadway. It wouldn't surprise me if he goes to the Top 20, if not the Top 10.
What did you think of tonight's acts? Is there an act that stood out for you? Could the winner be in the good acts we've seen this week? Share your thoughts in comments below.