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October 9, 2015

Weeds: Where the Sidewalk Ends

by Jane Boursaw, posted Jul 21st 2009 3:16AM
Weeds - Justin Kirk and Alanis Morissette

(S05E07) "We have to get the fuck out of here right now. These people bludgeon innocent golfers for sport." - Shane to Nancy

Oh my gosh. There were so many funny scenes and quotes in this episode of Weeds, I don't even know where to begin. Let's start with Shane, who surely is the smartest kid on TV right now. When Nancy had him look up the mysterious woman (Zuzao) in Esteban's life on Wikipedia, Shane's translations were spot on:

  • Sole heir to a vast telecommunications company: "media manipulator"
  • On the Board of the Mexican Stock Exchange: "inside trader"
  • Philanthropist: "tax evader"

I mean, really. I'm not sure how old Shane is -- I'm sure one of you will tell me -- but that's darn smart for a kid of any age.

To Nancy, though, Miss Zuzao is just a "stiletto-heeled Mexicunt" who stalked in and rambled off something in Spanish that made Esteban forget about marrying Nancy -- at least until after the election. Um, excuse me. He was threatening to kill Nancy not too long ago. She must have some serious pregnancy memory lapses to have forgotten that.

But as Esteban puts it, "To marry a foreigner is bad publicity." Yeah, and being a drug lord can't be all that great for your image either.

I'm sort of wishing I had the chutzpah of the speaker at Celia's Cosmetics Motivational Seminar, but I'm way too shy. Like, for instance, I'd never say something like "My nipples are hard, and my lady is wet," mostly because it would never occur to me.

Anyway, it was funny when Celia had her little home cosmetics party and turned Isabelle into a whore glamorous woman ready to meet the man of her dreams, and Isabelle turned to her and said, "I like girls." By the way, the girl who semi-hit on Isabelle was Erin Sanders. I interviewed her a couple of years ago when she was on Zoey 101. Really fun to talk with, and I wish they'd give her a nice little relationship with Isabelle.

Once again, Shane comes to the rescue with great advice for Celia, who decides she's Willie Lohman: "Peddle something that people want -- like drugs." You'd think Celia would get that after hanging around the Botwins for the past few years.

Let's talk about Doug -- sweet, misguided, drug-addicted Doug who decides to fire the terrorist-looking guy at his and Silas' pot club so he can hire a scantily-clad girl, prompting Silas to hire Dean Hodes to dissolve the partnership. Some Doug-isms from this episode:

  • "I love it here. Shelves filled with drugs. Cold, creamy treats flavored with drugs. Beautiful girls in bikinis coming in asking me for drugs." It's no wonder he was weeping with joy.
  • Thinking he's so high that he's seeing storm troopers (nerds from Comic-Con), and then thinking the cops were also from Comic-Con.
  • "I think I might actually be addicted to sugar," he says after consuming several double-scoop Triple Ripple Fudge cones (laced, of course).
  • "Why are you being such a cock-blocker?" he asks Silas, who decides he can't work with Doug anymore after he fired the terrorist-looking guy internal affairs cop.

I have to say, though, one of the funniest scenes was when Andy was trying to stuff pregnant Nancy through the window of the General Lee. I actually burst out laughing. More Andy-isms from this episode:

  • Him being soooo bummed out that Esteban wasn't be-headed or dead.
  • Him deciding he wasn't "rapey" enough for Nancy, who likes it rough.
  • Him asking Nancy if he could still get the hand job after their conversation in the General Lee.
  • Him saying, "The whole key is, strong and focused work where the sidewalk ends."
  • Him giving the speech to Dr. Kitson, which basically boiled down to the fact that they needed to get that baby out of Nancy so the drug lord couldn't get his mitts on it and kill Nancy.

Ok, I'm sure I'm missing some of the awesomeness of this episode. You guys take it from here.

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Alright, you two, if I have to pull this thread over...

I wouldn't say that Weeds has returned to its former glory, but I did really enjoy this week's episode, and I'm hoping that it's getting back on track.

I felt like this week's episode was one awesome scene after another, so hopefully, that will continue.

July 21 2009 at 11:27 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to jboursaw's comment

I definitely agree that we're still not back to its former glory but I do think it's getting in the right direction.

I thought this was one of the best episodes of the season especially at the end, didn't really expect Nancy already having the baby when Esteban arrived. Glad they sped that pregnancy up!

Good to hear 'Little Boxes' for that brief moment too! Now all we need is Conrad & Heylia... *sighh*

July 22 2009 at 12:05 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Dan, it sounds like you've just accepted the fact that Weeds sucks and happily put up with it because it's Weeds and yes, 99% of the other shows on TV blow even worse.

I don't determine the quality of Weeds by comparing it to "Dating in the Dark" (holy shit I can't believe that's a real show). I determine the quality of it by comparing it to what it's been in the past. Clearly, I'm still watching it - indeed most other shows on TV are worse than Weeds at its worst. But that doesn't mean the show is as good as it was. They got rid of over half the characters, including Agrestic - the silly little town that tied them all together. They burned it down and we never heard another word about that.

What makes you think I hate Obama? I voted for him and had high hopes for him. But in 7 months he's proven to be a darker-skinned, much better spoken version of Bush. Yet nobody can say anything about it because Obama is God, and you'll be accused of being something truly horrible - a Republican.

So what should I do when the things I like, such as Weeds and Barack Obama, turn into huge disappointments? When they become total failures? When the only reason to continue supporting them is because all the other alternatives are worse?

July 21 2009 at 10:32 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I disagree. I just don't like this show anymore. Sucks for me, I know. I'm trying to like it. But it's turned into nothing but random, pointless snark. The characters (those who are left, anyway) have become one-dimensional stereotypes, and even Nancy is no longer interesting (M-L Parker will always be beautiful but that's not a reason to say the show is good).

It boggles my mind that people are saying this season is so great. I think it's the same thing that's going on with the Democrats vis a vis Obama - they like him so they can't criticize him. That seems to be the new American way - you either like something and say nothing but good things about it, or you don't like it and constantly bash it - but no middle ground. You can't like something and criticize it. I blame this new bit of American culture on Bush - his black and white, good and evil, with us or against us politics infected the nation.

Weeds has been one of my favorite shows, but this season totally sucks. Deep down I think you all know this, but you know that you're not allowed to say such things. People will tell you to fuck off and to not say anything if you don't have anything positive to say (which is a pathetic and until recently un-American thing to say in and of itself).

Go watch seasons 2 or 3 of Weeds if you need a reminder of what this show used to be, so you can A-B it to what it is now. Then you're bound to realize how bad it has become. It used to be that I couldn't wait until next week's episode to see what happens. Right now, I couldn't care less. And judging from next week's teaser, it looks like more stupidity.

July 21 2009 at 4:53 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to bruce's comment

Sorry, but I can't agree with you. Last season was a little weak because they seemed lost and were trying to find legs after the suburbia part of the show came to a close. The show was beginning to run out of things to do in the suburbs and needed new direction. The Albert Brooks episodes were mediocre (with a few great moments) and the show sorely missed Heylia and Conrad, but now I don't miss them any more. Sure, there are a few flaws here and there, but the show is far better than most of the drivel that's on TV, especially now that there's basically only two other decent scripted "comedies' on right now in "Better Off Ted" and "The Goode Family", the latter of which is hardly great.

Just because you hate Obama doesn't mean that there's only two sides to it. I personally feel that Obama is an improvement over Bush, but I didn't vote for him and I do not support basically anything he is doing. There are shades of grey, but in your black+white eyes, you can't seem them. Judging from your post, you think that Weeds has gone the route of The Simpsons and Family Guy after they began their decline, but that's not the case. Every event has a purpose and always comes back at some point, it's a very well-written show that has changed quite a bit without abandoning the basic premise.

After all, the first couple seasons were about Nancy keeping her personal and professional lives apart while paying the bills. Once her sons found out, her town burned down and her connections lost, the show needed a new direction. I still love it and still look forward to each episode more than any other show aside from Dexter and Futurama.

July 21 2009 at 7:17 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Dan - I hear ya. I loved every minute of this episode and it reminded me of the early seasons, but in a different way. The writers and producers, crew and actors were really hitting on all cylinders, and I can't way to see what happens next.

Good catch on Shane's anti-Mexican thoughts.

And they didn't shirk on the ending either. A baby somehow makes everyone come together for a brief moment, but I'm sure that won't last.

July 21 2009 at 3:15 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

No comments yet? Wow...this was another awesome episode in this amazing season. While it is a totally different show than the first couple of seasons, it's still amazing and I LOVE every minute of it.

I laughed really hard about the General Lee part as well.

One thing you didn't mention was how Shane is now a total anti-Mexican racist. He was saying basically everything in the anti-Mexican rant book (I should know, I see can see Tijuana from my office)...but my personal favorite line was "Mexicunt"...classic.

July 21 2009 at 12:11 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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