Weeds: Where the Sidewalk Ends
by Jane Boursaw, posted Jul 21st 2009 3:16AM
(S05E07) "We have to get the fuck out of here right now. These people bludgeon innocent golfers for sport." - Shane to Nancy
Oh my gosh. There were so many funny scenes and quotes in this episode of Weeds, I don't even know where to begin. Let's start with Shane, who surely is the smartest kid on TV right now. When Nancy had him look up the mysterious woman (Zuzao) in Esteban's life on Wikipedia, Shane's translations were spot on:
- Sole heir to a vast telecommunications company: "media manipulator"
- On the Board of the Mexican Stock Exchange: "inside trader"
- Philanthropist: "tax evader"
I mean, really. I'm not sure how old Shane is -- I'm sure one of you will tell me -- but that's darn smart for a kid of any age.
To Nancy, though, Miss Zuzao is just a "stiletto-heeled Mexicunt" who stalked in and rambled off something in Spanish that made Esteban forget about marrying Nancy -- at least until after the election. Um, excuse me. He was threatening to kill Nancy not too long ago. She must have some serious pregnancy memory lapses to have forgotten that.
But as Esteban puts it, "To marry a foreigner is bad publicity." Yeah, and being a drug lord can't be all that great for your image either.
I'm sort of wishing I had the chutzpah of the speaker at Celia's Cosmetics Motivational Seminar, but I'm way too shy. Like, for instance, I'd never say something like "My nipples are hard, and my lady is wet," mostly because it would never occur to me.
Anyway, it was funny when Celia had her little home cosmetics party and turned Isabelle into a
Once again, Shane comes to the rescue with great advice for Celia, who decides she's Willie Lohman: "Peddle something that people want -- like drugs." You'd think Celia would get that after hanging around the Botwins for the past few years.
Let's talk about Doug -- sweet, misguided, drug-addicted Doug who decides to fire the terrorist-looking guy at his and Silas' pot club so he can hire a scantily-clad girl, prompting Silas to hire Dean Hodes to dissolve the partnership. Some Doug-isms from this episode:
- "I love it here. Shelves filled with drugs. Cold, creamy treats flavored with drugs. Beautiful girls in bikinis coming in asking me for drugs." It's no wonder he was weeping with joy.
- Thinking he's so high that he's seeing storm troopers (nerds from Comic-Con), and then thinking the cops were also from Comic-Con.
- "I think I might actually be addicted to sugar," he says after consuming several double-scoop Triple Ripple Fudge cones (laced, of course).
- "Why are you being such a cock-blocker?" he asks Silas, who decides he can't work with Doug anymore after he fired the
terrorist-looking guyinternal affairs cop.
I have to say, though, one of the funniest scenes was when Andy was trying to stuff pregnant Nancy through the window of the General Lee. I actually burst out laughing. More Andy-isms from this episode:
- Him being soooo bummed out that Esteban wasn't be-headed or dead.
- Him deciding he wasn't "rapey" enough for Nancy, who likes it rough.
- Him asking Nancy if he could still get the hand job after their conversation in the General Lee.
- Him saying, "The whole key is, strong and focused work where the sidewalk ends."
- Him giving the speech to Dr. Kitson, which basically boiled down to the fact that they needed to get that baby out of Nancy so the drug lord couldn't get his mitts on it and kill Nancy.
Ok, I'm sure I'm missing some of the awesomeness of this episode. You guys take it from here.