(S05E09) "Night farts happen, especially since I've been dieting." - Andy to Nancy, about sharing a bed

The THINGS you see on Weeds! Sometimes I don't know whether to be amused or shocked, so this week, I chose a little of both. The sight of Andy suckling Nancy to ease the pain of her swollen breasts ... well, that just never would have occurred to me after I had my babies and found myself in that situation.

And I'm standing by my feeling that Andy goes above and beyond what's called for in a brother-in-law. Then again, suckling the breast of the woman you love probably isn't that much of a stretch for him. But swallowing the milk is a whole other story.

And then later, when he was, uh, engorged and told Nancy, "It hurts. I need you to suck it out. Be the baby." Well, what is there to say about the whole bodily fluids discussions between them? Hey, if she can dish it out ...

So after all of that, I was hoping that things would start to gel a little for Nancy and Andy, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. Esteban keeps saying he loves Nancy, and -- SPOILERS AHEAD -- based on the previews, it looks like they might actually be getting married. I'm so not into that.

And Nancy doesn't seem like she even likes Esteban, let alone love him. Especially after telling him last week that Andy was the guy who doesn't run, who stays and takes care of the people he loves. And then her son gets caught in the crossfire of bullets when Esteban comes to see her? What is wrong with her? Hopefully, the previews are misleading and she tells Esteban to take a hike.

My, my. Celia and Dean's new business certainly took off fast, didn't it? One day she's living in the garage and the next, she's got a luxury condo with an oceanside view. It's no wonder Doug wants to get a piece of the "You're so Pretty" action. If he only knew...

As usual, this episode was all about the quotes, so let's jump right into them:

"If we have to share a bed, don't even think about spooning me, because that's not happening." - Andy to Nancy

"Just so you know, I'm not your rebound guy." - Andy to Nancy

"This is what parenting is ... shit and food ... mostly shit ..." - Nancy to Andy, about being a parent and getting up in the middle of the night

"On the one hand, I approve of the triangle formation and daring use of spotlights. On the other hand ..." - Andy to Shane, upon opening the door and seeing two girls examining his penis

"I've got a crooked dick, and there's no pot?" - Doug to Dean, upon learning that the pot has been "stolen"

Andy: "I feel used."
Nancy: "Talk to me after you've had to have something clamped onto your breast every three or four hours."
Andy: "You think I've never had my nipples clamped...?"

"So, am I smoking the mascara or the blush?" - One of Celia's "You're so Pretty" buyers

Nancy: "The human body is a complex and mysterious experiment."
Andy: "It's a sewer."
Nancy: "You're still reeling from the diaper change."