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October 31, 2014

Set phasers to 'intoxicating' with new Star Trek cologne

by Danny Gallagher, posted Aug 5th 2009 9:02AM
Red Shirt Cologne from Genki WearThe merchandise opportunities for classic shows like Star Trek has been outlandish, to say the very least.

You can show your financial love for Star Trek by buying Star Trek toys, Star Trek apparel, Star Trek cell phones, Star Trek Pez dispensers, Star Trek burial coffins, Star Trek living room furniture
and even Star Trek erotic theme art. Don't click that last link if you're at work, school or don't really want to know what James Doohan would look like spread eagle on a Tribble skin rug.

Now the folks at Genki Wear, a geek themed jewelry manufacturer, have helped the Enterprise explore a strange new world of merchandising and seek out new lifeline accounts and financial liquidations with a line of Star Trek-inspired cologne and perfumes.

And these aren't just randomly named perfume brands linked to the show to make a quick buck. The people who branded these babies have done their homework. The brands include two fragrances for men, Tiberius and Red Shirt, and for the ladies, an ultra-sensual pheromone love potion called Pon Farr Perfume. Phew, if those names alone doesn't get your dilithium crystals glowing, you might think about taking a trip to sick bay and letting Bones take a look-see at your docking bay.

Genki boasts that each potion has its own unique blend of fragrances and scents to make the neck and torso of any old schlub smell, well, out of this world. Wow, I could totally be a cologne critic. I wonder if Toilet Water Weekly is hiring?

Tiberius
, named of course from the middle title of the iconic Capt. James Kirk, has a "casual yet commanding fragrance" thanks to its unique blend of "sweet citron zest, black pepper and cedar," according to the cologne's official site. Damn, that's making me really thirsty.

Genki describes Red Shirt as "bright, clean and direct with top notes of green mandarin, bergamot and a hint of lavender." This floral combination gives it a brave, almost Ernest Hemingway level of boldness for the kind of man who is "brave enough to place no trust in tomorrow." In other words, this cologne is for blindly loyal men willing to walk into the path of a bullet if doing so would not disrupt their boss' plans of scoring with a hot alien before they return to the ship.

Finally, for the aforementioned ladies, we have Pon Farr Perfume, named for the septennial mating ritual that turns the more chaste Vulcans into drooling violent sacks of man lust. (Fun fact: Because of pon farr, high school debate teams have the highest mortality rate among after-school activities on Vulcan.) The site describes this blood fever inducing fragrance as "both invigorating and dramatic with light, clean top notes of citrus, blackcurrant, lotus blossom and water lily, and with base notes from sandalwood, peach and mulberry." And it lasts quite a while because just like the Vulcans, extremely nerdy Trekkies usually only score once every seven years.

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alex

this is no surprise to me as every body wants to cash the popularity of Star Trek TV Show. i will call it a good business strategy

September 10 2009 at 2:45 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
pheromone cologne

I highly agree and learned a lot with this article. As additional information, did you know that Phermones are stronger after having sex? It has been proven that humans Phermones are stronger afer having sex.

August 29 2009 at 11:22 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Vincent J. Murphy

It is old news day?

August 05 2009 at 11:37 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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