We'll miss you, Paula Abdul!

by Jason Hughes, posted Aug 5th 2009 7:34PM
Paula Abdul"You stayed true to who you are, Paula. You were a real superstar up on that dais. And you looked great ... sometimes. Other times you looked like you poured yourself into a dress too small for Mary-Kate Olsen, but I digress. You were a little pitchy at times. Did I say pitchy? I meant tipsy, but we're still so proud of you.

"You were just so cute I wanted to squeeze you, pinch your head off and dangle it from my car's rear-view mirror. All of the judges are just so talented and amazing at what they do, and the competition won't be the same without you. But don't worry, Paula. This isn't the end for you. This is the beginning of your career. You can do anything you want because you are a star. Touchdown!"

If American Idol is going to work without Paula Abdul, then Kara DioGuardi really needs to step up her game. My theory is that when DioGuardi was hired, they were bringing her in during Abdul's last contracted season, fully planning to replace Paula this year. But is that what happened?

Per Paula's manager, she wasn't even presented with an offer to return to the show. At least not at first. At the same time little Ryan Seacrest was given $45 million dollars over three years to come back. Kara DioGuardi just had to promise not to write any more songs for the show, and I don't even think they pay Ran-dawg anymore. He just shows up every week hooting and hollering, and no one has the heart to tell him to go away.

And let's not forget that Mr. Cowell is being offered his own private submarine, a harem of women (unfortunately, they're the cast-offs from More to Love), and one of Rupert Murdoch's children to come back. And he has to promise to never bring The X-Factor over to America as long as FOX keeps his Olympic-sized swimming pool filled with gold babydoll t-shirts.

But poor Abdul gets the shaft. Or at least not enough to make her happy. We may never know the real reason. Maybe they were going to start doing mandatory drug screenings.

I'm sure some reality show will snatch her up. Nigel Lythgoe indicated interest in her for So You Think You Can Dance. NBC will do anything to get noticed at this point. Throw her on America's Got Talent? Ready a new season of Hey, Paula! in case The Jay Leno Show doesn't save ten o'clock?

I don't think we've seen the last of Ms. Abdul. She's way too high profile right now. Where do you think she'll land?

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JK

OK ... I'm DONE with Idol!!!! Not because of the whole Paula mistake (them getting rid of her). But that Kara chick is a waste of a seat!!!! Who is she & why was she even put there, to scare Paula? Four judges is to many anyway!!! There is not enough time to hear real comments, from the real judges. Dump Kara! Is you plan to have guest judges. I always liked Paula & Simon together!!! If I hear of another "ADAM" I will follow it on-line.... no need to watch the show!!!!!!!! Bye Idol!!!!!

August 17 2009 at 12:25 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
deb

they need to get the other woman off, she is dead meat. Paula may not be a professional music critic but she made pertinant helpful comments and she and Simon are the "juice" in that show. Feels like she got screwed over. She has injuries and is in constant pain which even pain killers dont resolve. I am sick of people making fun of her like she is an addict or something.

August 07 2009 at 1:42 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to deb's comment
kc

huh??....that's EXACTLY what she is & her behavior on the show prooved it. She didn't critique anyone, just acted stupid-doped up, she needs to be at home sleeping it off. Not an addict? Get a clue.

August 12 2009 at 10:00 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
wulfn1

"We'll miss you , Paula Abdul"...


Will not.

August 06 2009 at 3:53 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
deebopalula

Betty Ford ;-)

August 06 2009 at 6:41 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Picviewer

A point-counterpoint speaking/debate series with George W. Now there's two that'll really mangle the English language. Maybe have Sarah P as the moderator since she's free now.

But on the other hand I'll feel sorry for Callie Thorne on Rescue Me since she won't have any new Paula material around to base Sheila when she goes to the crazyside off of anymore.

August 06 2009 at 1:25 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Matthew Golem

They should replace her with one of those wind-up monkeys that bangs the cymbals.

August 05 2009 at 10:45 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
GerryofNorVA

Not a surprise, in fact a season or two overdue, she never judged performances so much as admired the contestants. Paula is nice, sweet, and out of her element on that or ANY critique-based show except for ..... Wipeout, maybe.

August 05 2009 at 9:07 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Anita

I really don't think she's going to do anything. No other reality TV show has the budget of American Idol and I doubt other producers would support Paula in her singing career as much as Idol did what with helping with the video and helping push it.

August 05 2009 at 8:24 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Anita's comment
Barbara

She was a washed up has been before AI hired her. No one had heard of her in years. After AI brought her back into the spot light she got greedy. She should have been grateful to AI instead of demanding a ridiculous salary for which she is not deserving. I personally don't think she was a very good judge and half the time you could not even understand what she was saying. I am glad she is gone, but I have my doubts about that. I don't think it is over yet. She also was a loser for putting it on twitter instead of letting the network know face to face. She expected a huge outcry from her fans and it didn't come.

August 15 2009 at 7:48 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Veronica

One down, 4 to go.

August 05 2009 at 8:16 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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