Simon Cowell's awful Wonderdog song defies description

If you're still scratching your head over Paula Abdul's sudden departure from American Idol, here's a theory.

Maybe she had a hard time taking extreme criticism from a man responsible for unleashing (heh) one of the most godawful songs on the planet.

Back in the early 80's, a young Simon Cowell helped bring "Ruff Mix," a techno tune consisting entirely of dogs barking, to the music world's increasingly tone deaf ears. He was so committed to making the song a success that he was even willing to go on national television dressed as the song's main character, Wonderdog, to promote it.




According to Yahoo! music blogger Lyndsey Parker, Cowell bought the rights to the song from German artist Harry Thurman as part of Germany's long-running tradition of assaulting the British on all levels.

Britain's remaining hearing population didn't buy Cowell's grand vision. It barely reached No. 31 on the Billboard charts, making it the "Cotton Eyed Joe" of the United Kingdom.

Cowell, of course, went on to become a successful producer in his own right and host several TV shows where he shapes the worlds' popular culture of music with a refined ear and formulaic sense of style that thought "dog-bark electronica" was a good idea.