Weeds: All About My Mom
by Jane Boursaw, posted Sep 1st 2009 2:54AM
(S05E13) "Women are strong ... until they fall apart." - Nancy
It was zingers like the above quote that filled the season five finale of Weeds. I'm sure there were more, but I dozed off about three minutes into the show. Honestly, I'll check out the first few eps of next season, but at this point, I'm not committed to reviewing the entire season. It's no fun for me, and certainly no fun for you guys, if I'm covering a show I'm just not into. I really hope it improves enough to make me giddy, but I'm not holding my breath.
Nothing about this episode grabbed me, and for that, I'm sad. From the massage therapist that Pilar sent for Nancy ("Don't make me sit on you") to Doug's lame one-liners ("Wanna lick my crystal balls?"), it just wasn't there. I expect a season finale to be filled with eye openers, plot twists, and a fantastic ending that makes me cry that it's over and yearn until the day it starts again. Sorry, it simply wasn't there.
I really haven't known Adelita long enough to feel sorry (or anything) about her heroin addiction. Though I did appreciate that Silas tried to help by bringing Audra over, which resulted in Nancy sending her off to rehab in Arizona. I guess I'm fine with that, since ... I really don't care about her. The fact that Esteban's own daughter is a mess after he ran Nancy's sons down? Whatever.
And the fact that Andy proposed to Audra, who seemed only sorta kinda thrilled to be asked, really didn't do it for me either. And the fact (yes, there are lots of facts here) that he ran off when they came home to a gun pointed in their face ... what was that? Are we supposed to surmise that Andy's a big baby who ran off to cower in a corner? Or maybe hop in his car and go find Nancy?
All season long, I've been hoping for an Andy-Nancy pairing. Even up to the beginning of this episode, I was envisioning a finale where Andy and Nancy gather up the kids, pile into whatever vehicle is handy, and flee willy-nilly into a new adventure and a new chapter for Weeds.
But at this point, I'm not even sure I want them together. Nancy is such a stick-in-the-mud, and it irks me that she's no longer the no-holds-barred gal we once knew, the one who took control of her life (albeit recklessly), and certainly never bowed to any man. Now she's hooked up with a man who's such a wimp he's letting himself be controlled by a woman (Pilar) who's holding all of his indiscretions over him.
Other quotes included "Men are weak" and "We're all broken." Wow, those are some zippity-do-da lines, aren't they? Maybe some of my readers are right. Maybe Jenji Kohan HAS been nipping into the weed before writing some of these lines. I don't need Weeds to be either a drama OR a comedy. I just need for it to be good.
At any rate, it doesn't look like The Nancy Gang can go willy-nilly on the path they've been on, what with Shane whapping Pilar over the head with a croquet mallet. Any thoughts on where they might be headed next season?