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September 21, 2014

An open letter to Kevin Federline

by Michael Pascua, posted Sep 22nd 2009 2:26PM
Did anyone actually watch Chaotic?Dear Kevin,

I've recently read on VH1's blog that you were going to be on Celebrity Fit Club. I have a problem with this: you are not a celebrity. Sure VH1 may stretch the definition of "Celebrity," but having a resume that includes backup dancer and being on WWE doesn't suffice. I don't care if you were married to Britney Spears; you're not married to your meal ticket anymore.

I've recently Googled pictures of you and boy did you let yourself go. Maybe you should stop drinking beer. You shouldn't be on Celebrity Fit Club, you need to be on The Biggest Loser. Not only does the title fit you better, you need a smack down from Jillian Michaels.

Not only do I hear this, I'm hearing that your baby mama (Shar Jackson) is going to be on the show as well. This show isn't going to bolster your celebrity status at all; it will make you look like an ass, just like Dustin Diamond. On a positive note, I hope Jay McCarroll (Project Runway Season 1 winner) calls you out and Tanisha Thomas (Bad Girls Club) tells you to "Pop Off."

How about just losing weight like the rest of us normal people? Exercise, cutting down on the calories and carbs, and fear of dying of a heart attack. I don't think a camera crew will help.

Thanks,

Michael Pascua

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