Dear Stephen,

I was going to start this letter by telling you how much of a fan I am of you and your show. But I'm sure you already know that, right? You probably cannot conceive of a TV viewer who doesn't like your show, so my love of everything you do probably comes as no surprise to you. But last night you did something that hurt me and several of my friends deeply.

You made a joke about the Gorton's fisherman being kidnapped and said that he was in Maine. He's not, he's in Massachusetts. I should know because I grew up a mile from Gorton's and devoured their fish sticks every week (now with crispier breading!).

Now, you and your writers probably think that all New Englanders are interchangeable. Maine, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Vermont, Rhode Island, Connecticut. You probably watch that McDonald's commercial where they mention "bubblers" and "jimmies" and think that every New England state is the same. Come on. That's just not fair. Massachusetts has more letters in its name than any of the other states.

I'm not sure why you picked the Gorton's fisherman anyway. Couldn't you have Tom's of Maine kidnapped instead? Or maybe Stephen King? How about a giant lobster?

I know you'll do the right thing Stephen. If there's one thing you do best is admit your mistakes (the one time that you actually made a mistake - I think it was four years ago). So if you could please please please issue an apology on tonight's show, or perhaps the next show if you already have tonight's show all set. Everyone in Massachusetts would appreciate it.

And the next time you're in my state I'll buy you dinner, and I'll make sure to keep all of those damn Massachusetts liberals away from you.

Yours,

Bob Sassone

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