Nip/Tuck: Don Hoberman (season premiere)

(S06E01) "For Sean McNamara, a man wound tighter than a hummingbird's asshole..." - Narrator
Is it wrong that the sight of a wrinkled and saggy breast being sliced open and having a slimy silicone implant shoved into it no longer makes me flinch in quite same way as it did when Nip/Tuck premiered in 2003? That seems to be the endemic issue with Nip/Tuck, in general - the show as a whole is no longer the "disturbingly perfect drama" that it once was because it's just not shocking anymore. In some ways it feels like we've seen it all.
However, that doesn't necessarily mean plots are being recycled, and as we begin our journey through the series' final 19 episodes (this season has 10), there are certainly still plenty of good stories to tell. I made it clear in yesterday's early preview that if there's one show out there with that sort of potential after five seasons, it's definitely Nip/Tuck.
With last season's cliffhanger dispensed with, well... last season... there wasn't much surprise to find out that Christian and Liz are getting a divorce in tonight's season premiere. That Liz took it so personally and seemed so surprised herself was a bit much. Did she really have no idea who she was getting in bed with? Heck, even if Christian's cancer hadn't gone into remission, the chances of those two splitting up was still practically guaranteed.
While the Christian/Liz divorce plot was overall the weakest story in the premiere, there were still some highlights. Barry Bostwick's Roger Payne, the blind lawyer, was incredibly funny, and the scene where he duped Christian into taking off his pants to prove he had the upper hand was flawless. Christian, in general, has evolved the least over the first five seasons and beyond his dealings with Liz, it's business as usual for him - girls, clothes, and money. Oh, and a boat. Don't forget the boat.
As for Sean, the lack of money he and Christian have has put him on edge more than we've ever seen him. With Julia in NYC, racking up bill after bill because of Annie and Connor, coupled with the horrible economy - he's broke.
But with Teddy, he seems content. Now played by Rose McGowan, Teddy is but a shadow of the anesthesia huffing seductress that we met last season. But if we learned one thing about Teddy by witnessing her murder the other surgeon, she has a knack for molding her character to fit the man she's with. Remember, she was all decked out in what looked like a cross between a Vegas showgirl outfit and a flight attendant's uniform, plus she had that southern drawl. Even bigger was the quick shot of her left hand as she held the gas over her prey's mouth. It had quite the diamond on it.
New Teddy, no longer getting high (at least we didn't see her) seems to have grown accustomed to Sean showering her with gifts. However, if her plan was to get Sean to propose to her and off him the same way (for what? life insurance? no idea yet...), her goal seemed unlikely once she found out he was broke. Solution? Teddy proposed to Sean instead. Any guesses on what comes next? He did take those pills that Teddy prescribed. Sleeping pills or something else? Discuss!
A few more thoughts on the season premiere...
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The pseudo-documentary style was fun, and Linda Hunt nailed so many funny lines as the narrator, but it still seemed a bit much at times - especially that scene where Sean and Christian were doing a breast implant surgery and laughing about their money like a couple of James Bond villains. These two are already caricatures, and pushing it even further was just weird.
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This is easily the worst start to a season for Matt. A mime? Really?!? I'm not even going to waste my time talking about this. Stupid. Period. Kimber's decision to become an electrologist isn't quite as foolish - at least her choice is a real job. Believe it or not, I liked these two way better when they were meth heads.
I was surprised to see Mario Lopez's Dr. Mike Hamoui back because I really didn't think there was any more story to tell there. Bringing him into the McNamara/Troy practice will hopefully lead to some more creepy homoerotic scenes between him and Christian. It's youth coming to the aid of the elderly, though, if you think about it. If that hilarious infomercial they made wasn't proof enough, Don Hoberman asking for abs like Mike's instead of a flabby stomach like Christian and Sean's was plenty in your face. The times, they are a changin', and Sean and Christian haven't really kept up. Something tells me that being Hollywood's destination for in and out "vaginal uplifts" isn't going to be the cash cow they were hoping for.
[Watch clips and full episodes of Nip/Tuck over at SlashControl.]

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