(S05E06) The thing that always amazes me about this show is that how Old Ted is perfectly content to tell his kids about all the tawdry things he or Barney did back in those heady days of the mid-to-late-'00s, but every so often he realizes who he's talking to and substitutes a clean term for a dirty term. I'd imagine this inconsistency is done on purpose by Bays/Thomas and their writers; why have Old Ted pull back on his stories unless there's a laugh to be had?

This is how we got the references to "sandwiches," for instance. And this is how we got the running joke about bagpipes tonight. I liked how it was just a joke in the background and didn't really reference any major story. The major stories, though, were both pretty funny this week.

How many times have we seen the episode where the newly-coupled give the veteran couples relationship advice? The plot where Barney thinks he's a relationship expert was a little different for a couple of reasons: One, Barney was applying his awesome-ocity to the advice, and two, Marhsall took the advice and screwed it up. So it wasn't all on Barney and his horrible advice, it was on Marshall and his flustered nature in front of Lily, who's "all eyes and boobs."

You had to know that Barney and Robin (or, "Swarkles..." thanks, Michael Moncour!) weren't the lovey-dovey, nicknaming couple we saw this week. Ted knew better, because he knows both of them so well. It was good to see Ted being the voice of reason in this episode instead of central to the plot. For some reason, him floating over both stories and trying to corral the out-of-control goings on suits him well. And bringing Swarkles' downstairs neighbor in to show that they fight all the time was a good way to bring the "bagpipes" idea back into play.

Oh, and the fact that the bagpipers were senior citizens. It made that joke all the more creepy, especially when Ted thinks they're bagpiping on their shower chair. Good to see seniors depicted having a healthy bagpiping life, but... gahh.

What rang so true about the Marshall and Lily plot is that arguments do spiral out of control, spinning off from the original problem to cover every issue a couple has. The fact that Marshall was stupid enough to follow Barney's relationship advice was bad enough; the fact that it spiraled to the point where he tells Lily that his mom is "neutral" about her says something about how little sets these things in motion. But M&L's celebration as "the best couple in the world!" after giving Swarkles their advice -- helping themselves in the process -- also rang true... at least for Marshall and Lily.

Other fun stuff:

• A tie for Best Barneyism of the week: 1) Barney's 1960s-esque fantasy about how he'd deal with Lily and her need to have a clean sink, complete with Bewitched-era background music, and 2) his "Surge" speech in Marshall's ear after Marshall fails in his first attempt.
• I liked how all the versions of Marshall told Lily "please don't do that" when Lil broke out her Shining impression. It is creepy as hell.
• "Shut the bagpipes up!"
• I wonder if the acronym NRS (New Relationship Smugness) will catch on. Maybe not, because Ted's the one who came up with it.
• The way RoRo and the BarnStormer dealt with arguments before the ski trip was... interesting. I think I'd start arguments with Robin on purpose just to get her to take off her clothes.
• A good mini-Barneyism was him going "High two!" on the ski trip with Robin. Guess Barney likes wearing mittens.
• I hope to never hear the name "Timoze" again. Ever.
• Why did Ted cash in on the slap bet so quickly? I'd love to see him fearing for a future Ted slap while lying in wait to finally slap Barney again.
• Wonder if Barney and Robin are in trouble? Considering the title of next week's episode, I'd imagine they are...

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