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September 2, 2014

10 November News Headlines That Ought to Be TV Movies

by Bryan Enk, posted Nov 30th 2009 5:39PM
It's no secret that there are little to no original ideas left in Hollywood, as we're overrun week after week with sequels and seemingly endless remakes. The question is: Why? Don't movie executives and screenwriters read the news?

The everyday world is filled with strange and bizarre occurrences that are a thousand times more original -- and entertaining -- than a lot of what Hollywood is churning out these days, from a hopeful reality TV star crashing a White House dinner to a seven-day search in the woods for an engagement ring that fell from a hot air balloon.

Here are 10 news headlines from November 2009 that would make great TV movies, complete with our ideal casts. Don't be surprised if you see some of these show up on Lifetime, Hallmark or even HBO sometime in the near future.
It's no secret that there are little to no original ideas left in Hollywood, as we're overrun week after week with sequels and seemingly endless remakes. The question is: Why? Don't movie executives and screenwriters read the news?

The everyday world is filled with strange and bizarre occurrences that are a thousand times more original -- and entertaining -- than a lot of what Hollywood is churning out these days, from a hopeful reality TV star crashing a White House dinner to a seven-day search in the woods for an engagement ring that fell from a hot air balloon.

Here are 10 news headlines from November 2009 that would make great TV movies, complete with our ideal casts. Don't be surprised if you see some of these show up on Lifetime, Hallmark or even HBO sometime in the near future.


News Headline: Wife Consistently Fails to Kill Husband ... Three Times
Who Should Star in the TV Movie: Lindsay Lohan, Henry Rollins
Synopsis: A madcap dark comedy a la 'The War of the Roses,' with Lohan as trophy wife Dalia Dippolito conjuring various schemes to do away with her hapless hubby, played by Rollins. Anything involving a murderous hottie -- and one who ultimately just isn't too bright -- is just begging for a TV movie treatment.



News Headline: Burn Notice! Eviction Leads to Arson
Who Should Star in the TV Movie: Rashida Jones, Jamie Campbell Bower
Synopsis: This is a great premise for a TV movie, though it needs a third act -- we'll have to wait and see how the court finds Nicole Sloane and Timothy Rodriguez, the young Miami couple who burned down their mobile home after receiving an eviction notice. Rashida Jones is our choice to play Sloane, with Jamie Campbell Bower (now red-hot with both 'The Prisoner' and 'New Moon') playing Rodriguez, the beau 10 years Sloane's junior.

News Headline: Missing Boy Lived in NYC Subways
Who Should Star in the TV Movie: Rebel Rodriguez, Denis Leary
Synopsis: Francisco Hernandez, Jr., a 13-year-old boy who got in trouble at school and feared further punishment from his mother, removed the battery from his cell phone and lived for 11 days on the New York City subway system, surviving on snacks and soda. This is the story of his incredible journey that really just went around in circles, with Denis Leary as the wisecracking homeless man who befriends him.



News Headline: White House Crashers Met Obama
Who Should Star in the TV Movie: Tom Wilkinson, Heather Locklear
Synopsis: You knew this was coming, didn't you? We follow the saga of Michaele and Tareq Salahi, the couple who made a mockery of the Secret Service and White House security in general by crashing a White House dinner party and meeting the President of the United States himself. In real life, Michaele is also a candidate for a reality TV show on Bravo, 'The Real Housewives of D.C.' -- but it wouldn't be a shock if she and her husband got their own reality TV show, 'The Salahis,' after pulling this off.

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News Headline: Stamford Chimp Attack Victim Reveals Her Face to Oprah Winfrey
Who Should Star in the TV Movie: Kathy Bates, Oprah Winfrey
Synopsis: It's probably only a matter of time before we get some sort of dramatization that chronicles the media attention around Charla Nash, the Stamford woman whose face was mauled in a bizarre encounter with a chimpanzee and finally revealed her face several months later on 'The Oprah Winfrey Show.' Kathy Bates is our choice to play Nash, with Oprah playing herself, of course.

Watch more AOL Living videos on AOL Video



News Headline: Is Wal-Mart Spreading Swine Flu?
Who Should Star in the TV Movie: Jane Adams, John Hurt
Synopsis: Everybody loves a story involving the little person going up against big business, a la 'Erin Brockovich.' Jane Adams ('Hung') would star as a self-described "retail artist" working at Wal-Mart who ends up getting swine flu from a co-worker unable to take days off due to the company's convoluted sick-leave policies. John Hurt is our choice to play Adams' down-and-out lawyer looking for redemption.

News Headline: Fiance Finds Ring That Fell From Balloon
Who Should Star in the TV Movie: Lee-Hom Wang, Candice Accola
Synopsis: 'Lust, Caution' star and singer-songwriter Lee-Hom Wang stars as James Ng, the 26-year-old pastor of a church in small town Ohio whose proposal to his girlfriend Sonya aboard a hot air balloon goes awry when the one-carat diamond ring plunges to the woodlands beneath them. He proposes anyway, and even gets the ring back -- after seven days of searching the sprawling grounds of West Branch State Park.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy


News Headline: Two Arrested Over Cheese Heist
Who Should Star in the TV Movie: Karl Urban, Kylie Bax
Synopsis: New Zealand: the land of beautiful scenery, 'The Lord of the Rings' and -- cheese heists? You could really get fantastical with this one, having it just be "inspired" by a true story and let your imagination do the rest -- we'd have the young couple getting a taste for the thug life after stealing the cheese and concocting more "jobs" involving seemingly random items. The movie's show-stopper sequence would have them lifting a bunch of Generation One Transformers toys encased in glass from a high-security specialty toy store.

News Headline: Woman Sees Image of Jesus On Her Iron
Who Should Star in the TV Movie: Julianne Moore
Synopsis: Julianne Moore stars as Mary Jo Coady, the Massachusetts woman whose anxiety and melancholy over her separation from her husband and financial troubles were soothed by the image of Jesus Christ that appeared on the bottom of her iron. The media has a field day as hundreds flock to Coady's home to bear witness to the holy appliance.



News Headline: Hopeful Ninja Fails, Impales Self on Fence
Who Should Star in the TV Movie: Jonah Hill, Robin Shou
Synopsis: Alcohol bolsters ninja confidence! After a drunken man (Hill) attempts to respond to an alleged cry for help but ends up impaling himself on a fence after trying to do a "ninja jump" over it, he is approached by a mysterious ninja master (Shou) who somehow saw some potential in his hijinks. Soon, the drunken man is training to be a real ninja!



Related:
White House Gatecrashers Shopping Their Story to Networks?
Should the White House Gatecrashers Be Disqualified From 'Real Housewives'?

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