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The Twelve Days of Festivus: Twelve shows a'stinkin'!
by Brad Trechak, posted Dec 12th 2009 10:00AM
On the twelfth day of Festivus, TV gave to me ... twelve shows a'stinkin'!Being the endless wasteland that it is, television has no shortage of bad product. Mind you, "bad" is always a matter of opinion. This year saw the end of According to Jim after eight years of decent ratings while in terms of quality it lasted about seven years too long. What follows is my own opinion and at the end of each item in the list, I will quote everybody's favorite critic, Jay Sherman.
12. Heroes – This show was great in the first season, then with only brief glimpses of greatness in the later seasons, the writers and the network proceeded to dump it in the trash, rub it around some sewage and finally make it have a one night stand with Andy Dick. IT STINKS!
12. Heroes – This show was great in the first season, then with only brief glimpses of greatness in the later seasons, the writers and the network proceeded to dump it in the trash, rub it around some sewage and finally make it have a one night stand with Andy Dick. IT STINKS!
11. Jon & Kate Plus 8 – Why was this show even on the air? Does America really care that much about fake people who happened to procreate too much for their own good? Thankfully nobody gave a similar show to the Octomom. IT STINKS!
10. The Real Housewives of Atlanta/NY/NJ/Orange County/Anywhere – I don't understand how their husbands can live with them. After watching for ten minutes, I certainly couldn't. IT STINKS
9. Keeping Up With The Kardashians – When I first heard of this program I thought it was a new Star Trek spin-off. Then I watched it once and realized it was a variation of The Simple Life without the sophistication and irony. IT STINKS!
8. Leave It To The Lamas – See my critique of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Following the formula of a bad reality television show is like getting a new DVD only to learn that it was filmed on a camcorder in a movie theater. IT STINKS!
7. Accidentally On Purpose – Something this bad could not be an accident. IT STINKS!
6. Til Death – We're still waiting and nobody has died yet. Ordinarily I enjoy the work of Brad Garrett, but this show, despite its longevity, remains a stain on his acting resumé. IT STINKS!
5. Sit Down, Shut Up– Thankfully, they did shut up and nobody cared if they sat down. This show is gone from the airwaves and it's a good thing too. The memory of watching the pilot episode almost permanently tarnished my opinion of Mitch Hurwitz's other shows, most notably Arrested Development. IT STINKS!
4. Raising the Bar – If the bar were raised any lower, not even Limbo Champion Hermes Conrad from Futurama would be able to get under it. IT STINKS!
3. Dr. Phil/The Jerry Springer Show – There is a special level of Hell reserved for those that put on programs like these that claim to help people but only exploit them for ratings. IT STINKS!
2. Hank – When the program's lead doesn't like the show, you know it's in trouble. I can't believe that Kelsey Grammer needed the money that badly. IT STINKS!
1. Jersey Shore – I'm a Jersey boy and seeing this show makes me want to divorce the state. IT STINKS!
I'm sure that there is a lot of bad TV I left out of the list (it's tough to include everything when there are so many potentials). Which shows have I missed? Let me know in the comments.
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