The scary-looking man to the right who looks like he's trying to swallow your soul through your computer screen has made one of his boldest statements yet.

Robert Halderman, the man federal prosecutors have fingered as the David Letterman extortionist, has laid (ahem) a claim on his case that uses Tiger Woods' recent trysts as evidence to back up his innocence.

His attorneys claim since Woods paid one of his gaggle of secret girlfriends to keep things quiet, that should earn their client a get-out-of-jail-free card for making the same gracious offer to Letterman. That only makes the tiniest bit of sense if the person Letterman was having sex with was Halderman. Actually, forget I just said that. Whoops, too late.