I saw a stand-up comic a few years back that noticed the weakness in the whole "pet psychic" premise. Whenever the animal clairvoyant -- someone who is supposedly able to read pets' minds -- enters a home to "sense the thoughts" of a house pet, they always ask the same question first:

"What's your pet's name?"

What? Couldn't Fido or Mr. Fluffy-Kins give you a psychic business card?

With the prime time arrival of Pet Psychic Encounters on Saturday nights over at Animal Planet, we have yet another show that exists comfortably in the realm of the unprovable. You can't disprove that series host Sonya Fitzpatrick is a pet psychic because an Alsatian is very unlikely to hop up and scream, "No, I did not say I prefer dry food to leftover meatloaf! I object, sir!" You can't prove a negative. The same rule holds up for the endless march of ghost shows on "reality" TV.

Born in England and residing in Texas, Fitzpatrick says she can communicate with animals and already hosted another Animal Planet show in 2004 -- The Pet Psychic. She also hosts Animal Intuition on XM/SIRIUS Satellite Radio, is founder of The Gift of Animal Life Sanctuary (GOALS), and is the author of several books.

But I'm going to jump into the pet psychic game and tell you exactly what my mom's beagle (Corky, right) was thinking the last time I stopped by her house. Gazing into his mind I hear echoes of: "Food. Is that food? Are you food? Can I eat now? Now? How about now? I haven't eaten in seven minutes. So, now? Is that food on the floor? No, it's lint. Can I eat lint? Is lint meat? I like meat. Have I mentioned I'm hungry?"

I'm waiting for Animal Planet to call me for my own pilot.