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The Super Bowl Commercials: The Worst
It has become a cliche to say "I watch the Super Bowl just for the ads," but I really do. I have no interest in football at all (even less this year because the Patriots aren't in it - the only reason I would have to even be a little interested in the game is if the team from my area was in it), so I really do look forward to seeing and reviewing the ads. Too bad the Super Bowl ads aren't what they used to be (except for that Letterman/Leno/Oprah ad ... wow).This year I'm picking the seven worst ads, while Kona is handling the seven best. Two rules for my worst: no movie ads (they're in a category all by themselves and shouldn't be judged with the other ads), and I tried not to pick any commercials that aired before today.
1. Boost Mobile: "Shuffle." This ad was the worst for two reasons. One, the original Chicago Bears "Shuffle" video in the 1980s was already horrible, and now they have to have a sequel? Were people actually yearning to hear this song again? I want to say I liked the humor about the guys getting old, but the whole thing was just lame. The second reason to hate this ad? It's one of those "go online to see the rest!" spots. You know what, Boost Mobile? I'm online right now and I couldn't care less.
2. Go Daddy: "Spa." Look, I'm a red-blooded American male and I love seeing scantily-clad women and breasts and all that (even if they don't have much to do with the ad), but come on. All of the Go Daddy ads are very one-dimensional, and there's never enough humor in them to justify the angle they take.
3. CareerBuilder: "Casual Friday" and Dockers: "Men Without Pants." Honestly, one guys-with-no-pants ad was enough, but then they had to show another one right after? I don't want to see guys not wearing pants on commercials. I already see that every morning before I get dressed.
4. Doritos: "Casket." I get it: guys are lazy and love televised sports and shoving snack chips into their faces. Even if they have to hide in a casket. I don't even know why the guy had to go to this extreme (and wouldn't the casket be kinda heavy with that TV in there?) You know what else I hate about it? How, except for a small gasp, the people in the church don't even seem to be amazed that the guy in the casket is indeed alive. The least they could have done was have all of the mourners suddenly dive for the Doritos on the floor at the end.
5. Bud Light: "Voice Box." Yes, auto-tune is all the rage ... if you're living in 2008. I kept waiting for the payoff. There must be one, right, something funny at the end to justify torturing our ears for the entire commercial? Nope, just T-Pain on the couch.
6. Doritos: "Underdog." Doritos has two commercials on my list this year -- and there was a third ad that almost made it to the list, but I figured three from the same advertiser was too much, which is pretty good (or bad, depending on how you look at it) since I'm picking a total of seven ads. I'm a sucker for dogs in commercials (and I love Doritos, except for those "Late Night" and "Midnight" flavors they have now, but that's another story), but this commercial just ... wasn't ... funny. How can you screw up a commercial with a dog in it?
7. McDonald's: "Lebron James/Dwight Howard." OK, yeah, it's an homage to the original Michael Jordan/Larry Bird ad from the early 90s. But you know what kills it? James and Howard don't know who Bird is at the end. Really? Are they trying to say that these two are cooler than Bird or are they trying to say that they're stupid and know nothing about the history of basketball? It would have been funnier (and more effective and logical) if they had either remained silent after Bird walked away and maybe looked at each other, or maybe said in unison, "Bird!" A really bad decision in a really lame spot.
Dishonorable Mention: All the car ads. I mean, really, are car commercials even effective anymore? They're so dull, like video wallpaper on the screen until the next commercial comes on.
[Fanhouse has all of the ads.]
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