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July 24, 2014

What Should Paula Do Next?

by Scott Harris, posted Mar 27th 2010 12:00PM
Ever since Paula Abdul left 'American Idol' last year over a contract dispute, fans around the world have been abuzz, wondering just what the iconic pop star would do next.

And there have been no shortage of answers, as Abdul has been connected to everything from 'Ugly Betty' to 'Dancing With the Stars' to 'Star Search' in a non-stop rumor mill that has seen her attached to one project or another on just about every major network.

Now word has come that she may be working with choreographer Kenny Ortega to develop a show about enormous flash mobs that create population-sized dance routines in public places around the world. That "too crazy even for Paula" idea somehow seems fitting for a star already mulling over her own daytime talk show along with a reunion with former 'American Idol' foil Simon Cowell on his upcoming series 'X-Factor.'Ever since Paula Abdul left 'American Idol' last year over a contract dispute, fans around the world have been abuzz, wondering just what the iconic pop star would do next.

And there have been no shortage of answers, as Abdul has been connected to everything from 'Ugly Betty' to 'Dancing With the Stars' to 'Star Search' in a non-stop rumor mill that has seen her attached to one project or another on just about every major network.

Now word has come that she may be working with choreographer Kenny Ortega to develop a show about enormous flash mobs that create population-sized dance routines in public places around the world. That "too crazy even for Paula" idea somehow seems fitting for a star already mulling over her own daytime talk show along with a reunion with former 'American Idol' foil Simon Cowell on his upcoming series 'X-Factor.'

All these possible roles for the multi-talented Abdul got us thinking: why stop there? After all, as great as Abdul would be on any -- and apparently every -- major network, there are also plenty of great matches for her in the world of cable television as well. Here are five channels and series ideas that would really let America see Abdul in a new light:

Nickelodeon: Over the years, Abdul occasionally dumbfounded contestants on 'American Idol' with her amazing, ad-libbed freestyle poetry, such as the haiku-like classic "the moth who finds the melon finds the corn flake always finds the melon." Even the guys at 'Yo Gabba Gabba' couldn't match that, so why not harness that playful artistry and hook Abdul up with her own Gabba-style menagerie of weird creatures to banter with? A kids show co-hosted by MC Skat Kat would be the perfect fit for Abdul and Nickelodeon.

Bravo: Rumor has it that the reality-driven network is casting for a new 'Real Housewives' set in Hollywood. One problem: Abdul's currently single. But that's cool, because everyone knows she doesn't really live in Hollywood anyway, as she is frequently described as being in her own world. Our suggestion? 'Real Housewives of Planet Paula,' which would follow Abdul and an enclave of similarly quirky and independent women as they navigate their imagined lives. Possible co-stars might include Mariah Carey, Lindsay Lohan and Courtney Love.

Fox News: Abdul has made a career out of giving her opinion to America, so a transition from entertainment to news commentary is the next logical step. And if Fox doesn't have room for 'The Paula Abdul Situation Room' between Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reilly, that's fine; we think a Nancy Grace-style investigation show on CNN would be a perfect fit too.

Animal Planet: As Animal Planet constantly reminds us, we're not alone on this big world of ours. No, we share it with billions of animals, which means that reality contests like 'American Idol' and 'So You Think You Can Dance' are showing only part of the picture. The solution? 'Paula Abdul's Nature Dance-Off,' which would feature Abdul traveling to the remotest parts of the planet to show viewers some of the incredible non-human dancing that takes place every day in our world. Ever see a jellyfish doing the twist or a flock of penguins step-dancing into the frigid waters of the Antarctic? The eye-opening routines would put Randy Jackson's 'America's Best Dance Crew' to shame.

SyFy: Finally, pop stars from L. L. Cool J to Ice-T to Mos Def have made the transition from music to acting, trading the big stage for the small screen. Along the way, though, you have to pay your dues, so what better place for Abdul to start than on one of SyFy's original movies such as 'Ice Spiders,' 'Mansquito' or 'Sharktopus'? Not only would Abdul be a refreshing addition to any of these high-concept dramas, it could also pave the way for the ultimate team-up: Abdul and Coolio himself in the epic sequel all America has been clamoring for, 'Pterodactyl 2.' It's enough to turn Ellen DeGeneres green with envy.

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