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August 31, 2015

Coco Says No-No to the Tonys, But I Say Whoa!

by Danny Gallagher, posted Apr 1st 2010 9:02AM
Conan O'BrienAwards shows are just an lazy way for networks to eat up hundreds of minutes of airtime. They also sell big chunks of advertising that no one will see because the kind of people who watch every single minute of airtime either never leave their house or don't have the cognitive faculties to understand the concept of money.

The worst of the worst is the Tonys. They seem to go out of their way to make the whole affair uninteresting and over the heads of their viewers who are located outside of the Broadway area, give or take a few blocks. Why even air them? Is there a beet farmer in Bumblecrack, Ark. who just can't wait another night to find out if Hope Davis took home the Best Actress nod for 'God of Carnage?'

This year, an orange glow of hope came down from the heavens when the people behind the awards show offered the hosting job to Conan O'Brien, an honor he turned down just as fast.

There are some obvious reasons for his decision. He is knee deep in a multi-city "Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television" tour. He is also actually legally prohibited from being funny on television, thanks to the iron-clad contract for him and his staff when he abandoned 'The Tonight Show' in the wake of 'The Late Shift 2: Electric Bugaloo.'

It's a moot point. But just imagine, however, if the dark cloud of legal obligations lifted and Conan's people considered hosting the Tonys as a credible boost to his public image and his career? It might actually be (what's the word?) watchable.

Conan's no stranger to awards shows. He hosted in the Emmys in 2006, one of the more memorable Emmy ceremonies thanks to his appearances and sketches. The Emmys haven't been nearly as funny since his staff tackled all that was television, starting with their iconic opening sequence.

He's also not afraid to do a little roasting, both at the bigwigs in the audience and himself and if anything needs to be taken down a few notches, it's the Tonys. Sure he might not be able to trash NBC, which is a flood-dam just waiting to burst when he gets a regular gig on television again, but even that could serve as a great source of comedy and entertainment.

More importantly, it would be a ratings coup for the Tony people. There's a reason they went after ol' Freckle Face for their emcee and it's a damn smart choice. Every year, the Tonys somehow manage to find their way to the air during some big television event, like in 2007 when they had to compete for eyeballs with 'The Sopranos' finale. Conan's first triumphant return to television since he left late night could crush the rest of television.

And for all you Conan haters out there, even you would have a reason to tune into Broadway's back-slap fest if Conan hosted. You could drink down all the delicious irony that comes with Conan hosting a show that Triumph the Insult Comic Dog ridiculed without mercy just a few years before he moved out of 'Late Night.' It would be a frosty smoothie of tragic revenge, best served ice cold.

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Wow, TVSquad almost went a whole wee without posting news about Conan. We get it. You like him. You want him back on TV.

Next week, will you report when Conan decides NOT to super-size his fries at McDonalds?

April 01 2010 at 11:16 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

But Christopher Walken is going to host. I'm not a a tony's fan, but I'll watch for that.

April 01 2010 at 9:26 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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