(S01E16) "I have 400 years on you, little boy. I'll rip you from limb to limb, and you know it." - Pearl to Damon

Just another average day on 'The Vampire Diaries' -- Matt and Caroline on a double date with Elena and Stefan. Or as Stefan put it, "a nice evening out with friends ... as in ... fun."

Let's face it. There's not going to be any fun for anyone on this show, especially with those 25 restless vampires in the farmhouse -- or as I like to call it, the vamp compound -- outside of town.

There's a vampire war brewing, and nothing anyone says or does is going to stop it. And thank goodness for that, because it promises to be really entertaining for us.

Also entertaining is the fact that Matt's slutty mom, Kelly, is back in town. As I watched their first scenes together, all I could think was, this loser tramp is his mom? This is definitely a case where the kid is actually the parent. And sure enough, Matt said as much later in the episode: "I'm the kid, mom. You're supposed to be responsible for me."

For some reason, I don't think that's going to happen any time soon. Just the sight of Kelly humping Damon in the hallway at the Salvatore house will cost Matt thousands of dollars in therapy bills. In fact, the most stable relationship at the moment seems to be Stefan and Elena. But there's plenty of issues brewing there, too, what with Elena's birth mother somehow related to Katherine, who got mixed up with Damon. Still, I'll grab onto the sweetness of Stefan and Elena's relationship while it lasts.

And I never thought I'd say this, but I'm also really liking Matt and Caroline together, even though she can be a spoiled brat. Like Stefan, Caroline has to realize that Matt and Elena have a history, and Elena can still mean something to him -- as a friend. That was such a sweet and awkward little speech Matt gave to Caroline in the car, right before they started making out. And she's totally right -- it's really difficult to make out in most sports cars.

I was kind of bummed to see Frederick get staked by Pearl, especially after he called Elena "Katherine" at the bar, then tried to glamor Jenna on the street. ("Vervain," he said. "It's making it hard to find someone to eat in this town.") He was shaping up to be a really creepy, interesting character that could have caused all kinds of havoc. But at least we've still got the mad relationship between Pearl and Damon. She wants to know what he knows about the counsel. And enough with the vervain already.

And Pearl's grudge has had plenty of years to fester under the church. "Mystic Falls is our home, Damon," she said. "They took that from us. Our land, our home ... it's time we rebuild." It was funny to hear Damon tell her to give it up, man, when he's been holding a torch for Katherine for 145 years.

Another interesting relationship is Jeremy and Anna. In my head, I kept telling him to "Run, Jeremy! She's trouble!" In fact, maybe it's the other way around. I knew when he cut his hand to make her reveal herself ... things were going to get real interesting real fast. But I did not see that shocker coming at the end, when he asked her to turn him. Then again, he's been through a lot.

A few quotes:

Stefan: "He waited 145 years, only to find out that Katherine couldn't care less. That's gotta hurt."
Elena: "And it couldn't happen to a nicer guy."
Stefan: "You have every reason to be upset with him. Have you thought any more about ..."
Elena: "About what? Isobel? My vampire birth mother who's related to my vampire ancestor Katherine who screwed over your vampire brother Damon? Nah, haven't thought about it at all."

"In 1972, with Hef and the twins. I got Miss June." - Stefan to Elena, about a double date he once had.

Stefan: "I remember them ... from 1864 ... they were in the tomb."
Damon: "Yeah, about that ..."

"Maybe they're normal and good ... just outsiders ... misunderstood." Jeremy to Anna, on the possibility of vampires

"I feel like I've been here before. It's weird..." - Caroline, upon entering the Salvatore house

Elena (brushing her teeth): "How was your night?"
Jeremy (brushing his teeth): "Same old, same old. You?"
Elena: "Yep."

I look forward to your thoughts on this episode.