(S21E18) Homer Simpson and Clancy Wiggum becoming BFFs should have been comedy gold; instead, this episode of 'The Simpsons' was a colossal bore. It seems like everything hilarious you can do with the Springfield police -- high-speed car chases, putting squirrels down your pants for the purpose of gambling -- has already been done. They never even go out for donuts!

Sadly, this episode can't compare to the one when Bart and Ralph are forced to have a playdate and end up stealing Wiggum's keys to the city. Ralph only makes a brief appearance here in the B story, but even his dad's statement that Ralphie worries about things like "What if Superman decided to kill everybody?" is proof that this ep could have used a lot more Ralph.

Chief Wiggum's girlish glee that Homer wants to be friends is worth a smile as he declares, "Officer up. Officer way up!" And there are a few throw-away laughs, thanks to the presence of Snake, who's now guilty of "killing a moment" between the new best friends, and Moe, who takes Homer's place in an "Amber Alert" for being "violent and deranged."

Wiggum getting his underwear specially made by a village in the Ukraine, and that about 20 villagers can fit into one pair? Also good for a laugh.

The B story, where Bart becomes obsessed with a Japanese trading card game, doesn't pay off until Principal Skinner suspects that Bart is dealing drugs, not cards. You have to laugh at Marge's reaction: "Bart, dealing drugs? That's impossible. He doesn't have the math skills!" And Superintendent Chalmers pointing out that they've tried everything with Bart -- "Ritalin, Lithium, Zoloft ... well, they didn't work. He has moved onto drugs" -- only reminds us of the much funnier episode where Bart got hooked on Focusin.

The Bart-is-on-drugs angle gets milked a little more as Marge eavesdrops on him playing with Milhouse and overhears Bart raving, "This product is incredible," to which Milhouse says, "It's imported, you know." Ha! Jumping to conclusions based on out-of-context dialogue never gets old. When Marge finally confronts Bart, asking him, "Are you a druggo?" his injured cry of "What? No! Not until you raise my allowance," is one of the few genuinely funny moments. Too bad the story doesn't have a worthwhile payoff -- just Bart dumping his Japanese goods in the toilet and making a crack that if it can handle Homer, it can handle this. Eh.

There's a few scattered laughs, like Skinner's syringe-tastic "Drug Awareness" costume that has Otto tripping: And here I thought Otto only did weed. And when Clancy gripes to Lou, "Who are you, the rules police?" and Lou replies, "No, we are the police police." I probably laughed hardest over the credit on a 'Starsky and Hutch' rerun: "A Stephen J. Copshow production" and the TV montage where everything reminds Homer of Clancy. What's he watching? Just an Edward G. Robinson movie and a herd of pigs.

Extra credit for newly reunited friends Homer and Clancy punking Ned into believing that it's the Rapture, but overall, pretty darn forgettable.

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