So tonight, the general consensus seems to be that it's either going to be Casey or Big Mike going home tonight, barring some sort of huge upset. I made it pretty clear who I want my final two to be, so as long as they don't get kicked off tonight, I'm really fine either way.

Before we find out the results, which takes all of three seconds, we have 59 minutes to fill. We start off this week with a performance by season three winner, Fantasia. She's performing her new single, 'Bittersweet.' I've never been a huge fan of hers, but she sounds as good as she always has. It's nice to see her making a bit of a comeback too. She had a lot of problems dealing with the sudden fame that winning 'Idol' brought, so I'm glad to see her returning to the scene.

The Ford music video is up next, and it involves the Idols singing 'Put the Message in the Box' and driving the car around the world. It somehow makes even less sense than these commercials usually do,but it does involve Casey in Lederhosen, so I'm for it.

'Idol' is so manufactured and weird, that I laughed out loud at a completely innocent comment Seacrest made after the ad: he said something along the lines of, "the people who make it past tonight not only end up in the Top Three, but they get to go home." He really does make it sound like these kids are being held captive. "Sing! Sing for your freeeeeedom!"

Next up is a montage of all of the "going home" segments from past seasons, and it really only bolsters my theory, when all of the 'Idols' are shown crying, because they know that they're going to be returned to the 'Idol' dungeon soon. Seacrest asks all of the contestants what they want to do when they go home, and it's really the simple pleas of the imprisoned: "I want to smell salt water; I want to see my dog; I want to go to a bar." God speed, little Idols. God Speed.

It's time to get down to business: Seacrest makes all of the contestants line up in the middle of the stage, and goes over their duet performances, which the judges all love. The only interesting thing that comes out of this is that we learn that 'Once' is Crystal's favorite movie, so that's why she chose the song that she and Lee sang. I honestly would have expected that answer vis a vis the 'Caddyshack' song, but what do I know.

Ryan isn't doing the bottom two or anything tonight; instead, he tells us right off the bat that Casey is safe. You know that as soon as Michael Lynche heard that, he had to know it was over. The top three has to be Crystal, Lee, and somebody else, right? To further underscore this fact, Daughtry is performing, aka "The Ghost of Lee's Future." Daughtry has been ridiculously successful, and 'Idol' producers look at Lee and say, "hey, this guy could do that!"
After Daughtry, it's time for more results. Lee admirably defends himself against karaoke charges, although it does look as though he's about to poop his pants. Ryan tells Mike to "hang tight for a second," while Crystal hangs on to Lee, making her allegiance known. Luckily for Lee and Crystal, Lee is in the Top Three. So, here's what makes me nervous: Crystal is such a given for the Top Three, that having her on stage with Big Mike makes me think that we've had a huge upset. Because otherwise, there wouldn't be any question of who was going home. Right?

Bon Jovi shows up to perform, and it's completely bland. There's really nothing else to say about that except, uh, I liked Bon Jovi when he was on 'Ally McBeal.'

We end the show the way it should, with Crystal making it into the Top Three. Luckily, the Mike thing was just a fake-out. I really do like him, but at this point, it's time for him to go. I do hope that he ends up with a career out of this, because otherwise, it's going to be hard to justify to his kid why he missed her birth.

I'm certainly happy with the way things turned out. Next week, it'll probably be Casey's turn to go, but in the meantime, I look forward to seeing his next performance.