To quote the old saying: How can we miss you if you never go away?

For all of you who surf the web every day looking for the latest 'Bachelor' and 'Bachelorette' news, here is today's morsel -- actually, two morsels! First, Jake "The Bachelor" Pavelka is going to show up on ABC's spinoff show 'The Bachelor Pad.'

Now, when I hear the phrase "bachelor pad," I picture a swinging place with a boomerang coffee table, funky art on the walls, a swank bar in the corner, and Dean Martin on the stereo. This won't be like that. This show will have the greatest (cough) bachelors from past seasons living together in a house and competing in various challenges for the chance at love and, of course, $250,000.


But wait, there's more news! Jake and 'Bachelor' winner Vienna, whom he broke up with recently, are getting back together on 'The Bachelorette'!

That's right, America. You saw them fall in love on TV and you saw them break up -- well, in the tabloids -- and now, you'll see them face off to tell their side of the story. Why did they break up? Did one of them cheat on the other? Do they still care for each other? (Why am I typing these words?!)

Sigh. Is it because I'm not a reality TV fan that I shake my head when I read news like this? Either way, let's be honest: Do we really need to see a continuation of this, um, "drama," especially on TV?

I love the above interview that Jake gave to Mario Lopez of 'Extra.' This quote stands out:

"America was there and stood with me at the birth of our relationship, and I think I owe it to them and to myself and Vienna to let everybody be there at the end of it."

The quote is stunning, and shows an amazing ego and an equally amazing lack of understanding of where they stand in the pop culture universe. 'The Bachelor' is a popular show, but Jake thinks that America's interest in who he dates is on the same level as who Kate would eventually pick on 'Lost.'

He's also surprised that Vienna went to the tabloids to talk about the break-up. Unlike Jake, who went on 'Extra,' which we all know is not a tabloid at all but a show with serious discussions of current events, a la 'Charlie Rose.'

And we could also talk about how smart the guy is, since he actually thought he'd find his true love on a reality dating show that has something around a 1-15 record. Or maybe he didn't care? Maybe he just went on the show to become a star. Which, if that actually was his intention, is paying off thanks to subsequent appearances on 'Dancing With the Stars' and in the tabloids. Plus, here I am writing about his next move. Well played, Pavelka, well played.

I wonder what the current 'Bachelorette,' Ali Fedotowsky, thinks about the two of them coming on the show this season, considering, you know, she was in the thick of the drama as a contestant on last season of 'The Bachelor.' (It must be along the lines of, "Hey, this is my show!")

Call me cynical, but I'm thinking that the only reason Jake and Vienna are getting back together on 'The Bachelorette' is because of, oh, I don't know, ratings? That, and the fact that these reality show contestants just can't stand to be out of the limelight. They go on a dating show to find their "true love," and then when they separate they go on another reality show. Or they write a book about being on a reality show.

Call me cynical again, but I'm not 100 percent sure that any of this is even real. How much is reality and how much is just publicity?

I think there's something wrong in the world when the relationship status of the latest reality show star is the second news item on my news page. Remember when people used to say that stars like George Hamilton and Zsa Zsa Gabor were only "famous for being famous"? I wonder then how you would describe reality stars.

Here's a video montage of my favorite moments from this past season of 'The Bachelor.'



Just kidding! What, you actually thought I was going to embed something like that?

Are you going to watch either of these shows or will you make sure you have laundry to do that night?

[Follow Bob on Twitter.]