America is great at a lot of things. We rule the world in football (and I mean actual football, not the kind of "football" that eighth graders can master faster than Ethiopians). We always win the World Series (except when Toronto wins and the MLB is required to erase the memory of every baseball fan for that particular year). And we produce more monster trucks, people needlessly crying on television and illegal fireworks accidents per capita than any other nation on Earth.

However, when it comes to game shows, the Japanese have us beat by a mile marker or two. They produce shows with brilliant, insane challenges that produce more hilarious trips and falls than a 'Tosh.0' marathon.

So now that the two companies who created the short-lived ABC reality series 'I Survived a Japanese Game Show' have joined forces once again, maybe they can bring us some of these Japanese challenge programs without all of the needless crocodile tears from behind the scenes.

'Downtown no Gaki no Tsukai ya Arahende!!'
Some of the best game shows don't just reward the winner. They punish the loser. This 'Jackass' style show features a panel of five comedian friends who put each other up to absolutely insane challenges that test their ability to withstand emotional and physical pain -- and the loser or losers have to endure something even more painful. Their most famous episodes featured a round of "24-Hour Tag" in which four of the show's stars had to endure a full day of running from punishment-wielding hooligans in full body rubber suits as well as spend two harrowing days in a "haunted" hospital.



'Takeshi's Castle'
Regular Spike viewers will recognize this Japanese challenge fest as 'Most Extreme Elimination Challenge' or 'MXC'. The show, believe it or not, had a plot that went far beyond dumbasses getting whacked in the junk with a giant novelty baseball bat. The large pool of contestants were trying to overthrow the evil Takeshi by overcoming the ridiculous challenges he placed in front of them. 'MXC' was a blast to watch, but the original source material was twice as long and unrelenting. The show has only crowned nine winners in its four year run. The rest, we assume, were rewarded with hospital vouchers and discounted physical therapy.



'Viking: The Ultimate Obstacle Course'
So far, the challenges in these shows don't require much brain power and it's no secret why -- if they did, the talent wranglers would have a hard time convincing contestants to sign a waiver denying any liability if they take a header into the giant plastic fish that farts leprechauns and end up losing all feeling in their neck. This challenge show, however, is the mutant baby love child of 'Ninja Warrior' and 'Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?' (not to be confused with the actual mutant baby love children that they use as students on 'Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?').



'The Apron of Love'
Nothing bores me to tears faster than the new breed of cooking shows. They all feature some neatly styled host who makes the same Swahili-Scandinavian infused dish that contains more excessive fat and butter than one of Kirstie Alley's pre-workout Powerbars. That's why I desperately want this cooking challenge show to land stateside. It challenges contestants to cook dishes in a huge kitchen, except none of the ingredients are labeled. If they are lucky, they won't accidentally create a culinary concoction that can be sold to a Third World nation as weapons-grade yellowcake. They then serve their dishes to some judges, whose expressions after taking a bite can't be described using family-friendly language.

Whatever the hell this is
I don't know the title of this show. I don't know if prizes are awarded to the winners or if the losers even get a lousy copy of the home game. I just know I want it on my television NOW and I want the blond girl from 'The Big Bang Theory' to star in it.