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Whitney Cummings on Porn, Stripping, and Relationships (VIDEO)

by Oliver Miller, posted Aug 23rd 2010 4:37AM
Whitney Cummings on Porn, Stripping, and RelationshipsWhitney Cummings had her first one-hour special on TV the other night (Sat., 11:30PM ET on Comedy Central). This was kind of a big deal. Apparently, only about eight women ever have been given their own stand-up comedy hours on television. That's a little sexist, but hey -- Whitney took full advantage of her slot, and attempted to balance out the battle of the sexes.

On 'Whitney Cummings: Money Shot,' the comedienne discussed many important topics: including porn, stripping, and dating. Here are some of her observations:


1) Whitney on stripping. She related a story where a guy said he wanted her to be a "stripper" for him. Whitney's response: "You want me to be emotionally unavailable? And take your money? ... I've been doing that since we freaking met."

2) Whitney on porn. "Guys watching porn is like women watching the 'Food Network.' We're both watching things we're never going to frickin' do."

3) Whitney on relationships. "[Women's] favorite tactic is the 'silent treatment.' ...Ladies, the 'silent treatment' is not a punishment. It's a freakin' reward. ... He's like, 'Oh thank God, she shut the hell up, oh my God. ... I get to watch 'SportsCenter' again today.'"

... And so on and so forth. Good stuff! And there was plenty more from Whitney. Maybe you should check out the special for yourself; just a mild suggestion on our part.

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Dan

The reason why women don't get a lot of standup specials is because most women aren't funny. Every female standup (pretty much, there are a few awesome exceptions, I like about 4 or 5 female standups) tells the same jokes about the same subject. It's not funny to hear her jokes about strippers and relationships because I've heard them from every female comic who ever tried out for "Last Comic Standing".

Why is it that women can only tell jokes about men and relationships? There's no abstract thought or creativity in their comedy whatsoever. I watched that whole hour and did not laugh out loud once. In contrast, I've been watching last night's Daily Show for 9 minutes (paused the episode to get a beverage) and I've already laughed out loud 3 times...and I'm at the office instead of on my couch chillaxing like I was when I was watching "Money Shot". Check that, I'm now 9:35 into it and I've laughed 5 times...Whitney Cummings did not accomplish that in 60 minutes.

Compare her to John Pinette, Myq Kaplan, George Carlin, Chris Rock, Frank Caliendo, Russell Peters, Robert Schimmel, Jerry Seinfeld, Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, hell, even the annoying Dane freaking Cook made me laugh more than Whitney Cummings did on Saturday night when I flipped channels after her episode was done.

Find me a list of the top-10 all-time best standups, and MAYBE you'll find a couple that have a single woman in them. That's it. Looks clearly don't matter in standup, all that matters is that the person is funny, especially in today's Youtube age. It's not sexism, it's nature. It'd be like saying that it's sexist that there are no women in the NFL or the NBA. It's not sexist, it's a fact of nature that women aren't as well designed for those activities as men.

August 24 2010 at 11:38 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Dan's comment
Carlos

you're gay, right?-

August 24 2010 at 4:36 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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