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Who Has the Worst Fake Boobs on 'Bachelor Pad'? (VIDEO)

by Oliver Miller, posted Aug 31st 2010 6:21AM
Who Has the Worst Fake Boobs on 'Bachelor Pad'?The new installment of 'Bachelor Pad' (Mon., 8PM ET on ABC) was all about asking the tough questions. Luckily for us, at least one of these questions involved the important issue of fake boobs.

... But before we get to that, we have a tiny question of our own. It involves an issue that we sometimes wonder about when watching reality TV. And our query is this: "Hey, is it possible for a reality show to be too mean to its players?"

It seems like the creators of 'Bachelor Pad' are never too troubled by this thought. Especially based on the events that took place during tonight's show -- which was kind of a brutal marathon of humiliation. By the halfway point of the episode, most of the female contestants were already in tears.

[Spoiler alert.]

The theme of question-and-answer began with a particularly mean survey which the housemates were given. First, the contestants were encouraged to get drunk. Then they had to fill out the survey, which featured these nasty hypotheticals:

'Who is the dumbest person in the house?'

'Who is your biggest enemy in the house?'

'Who is the biggest jerk?'

'Who is the most shallow?'

And our personal favorite ...

'Who has the worst boob job?'

Yikes. The next day, after everyone had sobered up, the players were summoned outside. At this point, the show's hosts had them guess the most popular answers to these questions. For example, who was the majority choice for the biggest jerk in the house? Would it be Jesse? Elizabeth? (Hint: it was Wes.) The guy and girl who could predict the most answers would win immunity for the episode.

But this meant that the players were announcing their choices for these horrible categories. Great! Nifty! No way anyone's feelings could be hurt in this game!. Like, for example, the way that Gwen learned that the housemates think she is "the dumbest one" -- which must have been super-fun for her. ("I would take an I.Q. test against anybody here," she shot back. Uh, don't strain yourself there, Gwen.)

In the end, the survey showed that a lot of the housemates aren't very into Elizabeth. First, she was named "the most shallow." Her response to this accusation was an all-time classic: "I don't know what 'shallow' really means." Of course you don't, Elizabeth; of course you don't. And that's not shallow of you at all.

Ironically, Elizabeth was more upset by the second revelation ... which was that the other housemates didn't like her breasts. Yes, Elizabeth won the non-coveted 'Who has the worst boob job?' award. Congrats, Lizzy!

The whole 'worst boobs' debate contained yet another moment of irony. Even Jesse Kovacs -- the dude who likes Elizabeth -- thinks that her breasts look kind of fake. He also guessed that everyone would pick "Elizabeth" as their response. Since he could predict these answers, Kovacs could have won the game-- and gotten immunity. All he had to do was join the crowd of naysayers, and call Elizabeth's breast implants tacky and gross-looking.

But Kovacs has a crush on Elizabeth, and he couldn't bring himself to hurt her feelings like that. So he lied and gave the wrong answer on purpose. This was either a really gallant and noble gesture, or a really stupid one. Probably it was stupid, since it meant that he lost the game ... The especially dumb part was that Kovacs was trying to win the immunity power for Elizabeth. So he defended the honor of her boob job, in exchange for increasing the chance that she'll be kicked off the show. Good thinking, Kovacs!

Following this complete disaster, Elizabeth hurried away to cry about her breasts. Kovacs went after her, trying to reassure Lizzy that her implants looked great. Most of the other girls fled as well -- heading to different parts of the house, where they could sob in private about all the insults dished out in the course of the game. ... Ah, a houseful of angry, weeping girls. 'Bachelor Pad,' you sure do know how to show us a good time.

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