MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 6
'Hoarders' (9PM, A&E) season 3 premiere
Prepare yourself now: A&E celebrates Labor Day with an all-day (beginning at 8AM) marathon of 'Hoarders' episodes, and if you actually sit through a whole day of shows, you're probably going to feel like purging your house of everything but your bed and clothes by the end of the day. And if that doesn't inspire you to weed out your own belongings, the season premiere just might, as we meet Adella, whose decades of hoarding is so extreme that she lost a marriage and alienated her daughter. But the really sad case is that of Teri, whose husband is threatening divorce and whose two children are suffering from severe asthma because of the filth they live in. In fact, when Dr. Zasio gets a peek inside Teri's house, which she calls the worst she's ever seen, she immediately decides that she has to call Child Protective Services.

'Dirty Jobs' Marathon – What better reminder on Labor Day that maybe your own job isn't so bad, than this 18-episode marathon with Mike Rowe (9AM, Discovery)

'The Office' Marathon – A Labor Day countdown of 20 fan fave episodes includes gems like 'Diversity Day,' 'Casino Night,' 'Office Olympics' and 'Goodbye, Toby' (10AM, TBS)

'Little People, Big World' – Amy and Matt get serious about their health after he collapses during a vertigo attack (8PM, TLC) season 6 premiere

'MAD' – If Alfred E. Neuman would put it in the mag, it's likely to end up on TV in this animated sketch comedy series based on the classic print magazine (8:30M, Cartoon Network) series premiere

'Secret Life of the American Teenager' – Oh boy, George ... Anne and Amy think big daddy is up to his cheating ways again (8PM, ABC Family) season 3 summer finale

'Giuliani's 9/11' – Former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani, in fresh interviews, recalls his experiences on Sept. 11, including the split decisions he had to make, and how emotional he became once he finally had a chance to stop and think about the day's attacks (9PM, NGC)

'Real Housewives of New Jersey' Reunion, Part 2 – It's tough to imagine how this will top last week's wild Part 1, though the network's hinting that one of the Housewives quits ... frankly, at this point, Caroline's the only one who isn't either totally nuts (Danielle, Teresa) or totally boring (Jacqueline), so let the quitting begin (9PM, Bravo)

'VH1's 100 Greatest Artists of All Time' – The five-night (Monday-Friday, 10PM) countdown of the best musicians of all time kicks off with numbers 100-80 (10PM, VH1)

'Witness: DC' – News coverage, home videos and fire, police and rescue footage make up this special, which reconstructs the 9/11 attack on the Pentagon (10PM, NGC)

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TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 7
'Sons of Anarchy' (10PM, FX) season 3 premiere
The new season picks up right where season two left off, with Jax (Charlie Hunnam) and his SAMCRO cohorts trying to find the kidnapped Abel, who was stolen away by Cameron. Meanwhile, Gemma (Katey Sagal) is on the run after being framed for murdering Cameron's son Edmond, and while on the lam, she ends up reuniting with her dad, Nate (guest star Hal Holbrook), who's suffering from Alzheimer's disease. Meanwhile, back in Charming, Hale's brother decides to run for mayor, Jax tries to push Tara away and the season premiere ends with a act of violence that will, as the SAMCRO dudes are so fond of saying, blow back on the whole town.

'Friday Night Lights' – ABC Family begins airing the terrific NBC/DirecTV drama, nightly, starting with tonight's airing of the pilot ep that introduces us to Coach Taylor, his family and his football players on the Dillon High team (6PM, ABC Family)

'My Trip to Al-Qaeda' – Documentary footage and photos are mixed with journalist Lawrence Wright's one-man play 'My Trip to Al-Qaeda' to present Wright's first-hand account of investigating the background of the people, places and events that led to 9/11 (9PM, HBO)

'White Collar' – Neal and Peter uncover a key clue to tracking down Kate's killer, which prompts Neal to hatch an elaborate con to meet the murderer face-to-face (9PM, USA) season 2 summer finale

'Chopped' – In part two of the champions tournament, four winners from the season return to compete against each other, and have to incorporate alligator meat into one of their recipes for a shot at the super $50,000 prize (10PM, Food Network)

'Rachel Zoe Project' – Olympic skater Johnny Weir comes to Rachel for some style counsel, but it's Brad who really gets what the star is looking for (10PM, Bravo)

'Teen Mom' – It's no surprise that super lame Gary ruins Amber's birthday, or that Catelynn's mom ruins her prom dress shopping trip by yet again picking at her for giving her baby up for adoption, but it's a shocker when slacker Ryan not only decides he wants to spend more time with Bentley, but actually decides to fight Maci for custody of him (10PM, MTV)

'Louie' – Louie wraps his first season with a night on the town (11:44PM, FX) season 1 finale

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WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 8
'Terriers' (10PM, FX) series premiere
You know those actors and actresses who are always on the verge of really breaking out, if just they landed the right role? This might finally be the thing that properly showcases the skills of Donal Logue, the funny guy who's been bouncing around Hollywood for two decades without a major hit. Here, he's Hank Dolworth, a former LAPD cop who, after a divorce from the wife he still loves and losing his job thanks to his alcohol issues, partners with his friend Britt (Michael Raymond-James) to form a P.I. team. Business isn't thriving -- when we meet the duo, they're working a job that's going to get them paid with free dry cleaning services -- but they get real busy, real fast, when an old friend of Hank's asks him for a favor that ends up getting Hank and Britt mixed up with a powerful (and very crooked) real estate developer. The dramedy, produced by 'The Shield' creator Shawn Ryan, is a little more mainstream, a little less quirky, than some of the network's other shows, but the premiere leaves you wanting to see more of Hank and Britt, and what else can you ask of a good pilot?

'America's Next Top Model' – 32 wannabe models try to strut their way into the top 14 before the premiere's end (8PM, The CW) season 15 premiere

'Hellcats' – 'Smallville' star Tom Welling is a producer on this drama, about a Memphis law student who loses her scholarship and goes after another one ... as a cheerleader (9PM, The CW) series premiere

'Black Gold' – The crew opens the season by trying to get used to their new boss: a female (10PM, truTV) season 3 premiere

'Cat Ladies' – "Crazy" might be a bit harsh ... then again, it might also be totally accurate in describing the women in this sad documentary, which features women who bond with cats (including at least one woman who shares her home with more than 100 of them) instead of humans (10PM, Animal Planet)

'Criss Angel: Mindfreak' – Hey, anybody seen Criss Angel? That's what we'll be asking if the magician successfully manages to levitate 100 feet off the ground, then completely disappear, in the Mojave desert (10PM, A&E) season 6 finale

'Psych' – A spy (Franke Potente) who's been accused of a crime turns to Shawn and Gus to help clear her good spy name (10PM, USA) season 5 summer finale

'Top Chef' – The remaining contestants -- Angelo, Ed, Kevin and Kelly -- head to Singapore for the first part of the season 7 finale (10PM, Bravo)

'Colbert Report' – Another reason to dig Stephen Colbert: Tonight and Thursday's shows are dedicated to military men and women returning from Iraq, who will also make up the show's studio audience each night (11:30PM, Comedy Central)

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THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 9
'Nikita' (9PM, The CW) series premiere
Yeah, yeah, the story's been told before, and maybe you're reluctant to give it another shot on a network best known for its teen dramas. But fun is fun, and this newest spin on the 'La Femme Nikita' action, with big-screen star Maggie Q as Nikita, is fun. Maggie Q is the titular spy and assassin, who's gone rogue from the mysterious Division, a government agency that trained her to kill, then abandoned her in the middle of a mission. She's out to bring them down now, while they continue on training a whole new crop of recruits. Among them: Alex ('How I Met Your Mother' and 'Desperate Housewives' star Lyndsy Fonseca), a formerly homeless girl who's being coerced into action after committing a crime, and who is, in the eyes of handler Michael ('ER' and 'Once and Again' star Shane West), the agency's next Nikita. Could be, though everyone, including viewers, are in for more than one big twist throughout the season, including a juicy one in the premiere's final moments.

'Vampire Diaries' – Tyler's Uncle Mason comes to town, just as Elena discovers the bloody body of her Uncle John (8PM, The CW) season 2 premiere

'Project Runway' – So much designer drama this season! And that doesn't change tonight, when the contestants tangle while trying to whip up some resort frocks Michael Kors has challenged them to make (9PM, Lifetime)

'Real Housewives of D.C.' – A grape stomp at the vineyard turns nasty when the Salahis offend Mary with some comments about her daughter (9PM, Bravo)

'Beast Legends' – Syfy releases the Kraken! The sea monster is the first mythological creature the network investigates in this fun six-episode series (10PM, Syfy) series premiere

'Jersey Shore' – Will J-Woww and Sammi make up after last week's throwdown? And will J-Woww and Snooki really be able to venture into the "smush" room to clean it? (10PM, MTV)

'You're Wearing That?!' – 'Dallas' star Charlene Tilton and her daughter Cherish get simultaneous style smakeovers (10:30PM, WE)

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FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 10
'Stand Up 2 Cancer' (8PM, ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, VH1, E!, TV One, Current, G4, Discovery Health, Style, Bio, HBO Latino, MLB, Mun2, Smithsonian Channel, TV Guide Channel)
They're keeping it short, but sweet, as an all-star line-up of talent gathers to help raise money for cancer charities. Katie Couric, Brian Williams and Diane Sawyer host the hour-long telethon, which includes appearances by George Clooney, Will Smith, Gwyneth Paltrow, Denzel Washington, Renee Zellweger and Kathy Bates. Most movingly, the night will include performances from Stevie Wonder, Aaron Neville and Natasha Bedingfield, as well as appearances from real-life cancer survivors Christina Applegate, Michael C. Hall, Sharon Osbourne, Lance Armstrong and Elizabeth Edwards, and Michael Douglas, who recently announced he's being treated for throat cancer.

'Nat Geo Amazing!' – The show takes viewers to a "prison hotel," where guests surrender all their possessions except a toothbrush, and stay in a real jail cell where they're watched by guards. Hmm, perhaps those guests are unaware that most people spend their whole lives avoiding spending the night in a jail cell ... (7PM, NGC) season 1 finale

'Blood Dolphins' – Ric and Lincoln visit the Solomon Islands, where dolphin hunting is legal, and the natives use dolphin teeth as currency (9PM, Animal Planet)

'Eureka' – Grant's disappearance links him to a major theft and to Beverly Barlowe, right before a catastrophe strikes Eureka (9PM, Syfy) season 4 summer finale

'Haven' – Audrey's Haven cohorts throw a birthday party for her, but the merriment ends when one of the partiers is replaced by a shape-shifting baddie (10PM, Syfy)

'Kids in the Hall: Death Comes to Town' – The mayor prepares for an execution, and someone leaves town in the miniseries wrap-up (10 and 10:30PM, IFC) miniseries finale

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SATURDAY AND SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 11-12
'MTV Video Music Awards' (Sun., 9PM, MTV)
Chelsea Handler is hosting the 27th annual VMAs, but the night is more likely to belong to another female: Lady Gaga, who leads the VMA pack with 13 nominations. Eminem's not too far behind with eight nods, and he'll be in the Nokia Theater in Los Angeles to collect any Moon Men he wins, since he's slated to perform at the ceremony as well. Among the show's other performers: Justin Bieber, Drake, Linkin Park, Jason Derulo, Usher, Paramore and Kanye West. And, speaking of Mr. West, yes, even though he brought it up himself last week on Twitter, let's all agree to get over the whole Kanye/Taylor Swift saga from last year's VMAs already. He was rude, he was obnoxious, but geez ... he didn't kill anybody.

'Cops' – The 23rd season opener and 800th(!) episode finds one cop setting off on a foot chase and one making a house call to help find a boa constrictor (Sat., 8PM, Fox) season 23 premiere

'The Perfect Teacher' – It's like a teen version of 'Fatal Attraction' (right down to a twist on the "I won't be ignored" line) when 'The Secret Life of the American Teenager' star Megan Park plays a student who becomes obsessed with her teacher ('Melrose Place' star David Charvet) (Sun., 8PM, LMN)

'True Blood' – Jason considers (another) new career, while Sookie seriously considers what her life would like sans vampires (Sun., 9PM, HBO) season 3 finale

'The Glades' – Callie and Jim get closer ... you know, closer ... when he works on a horse breeding case that she helps him solve (Sun., 10PM, A&E)

'Hung' – Ray thinks he may have a chance to get back together with Jessica, but not if Lenore -- who doesn't want to lose her meal ticket -- has anything to say about it (Sun., 10PM, HBO) season 2 finale

'ID Investigates: Why Bin Laden Is Alive' – Answering the question: Despite the best efforts of a whole lot of people, why hasn't anyone been able to catch this guy? (Sun., 10PM, ID)

'My Boys' – Back-to-back episodes end the season as Stephanie gets a great career opportunity, but will have to move to London to take advantage of it (Sun., 10 and 10:30PM, TBS) season 4 finale

'Entourage' – Vince's behavior spins even more out of control, Turtle's promising tequila business hits another wall and Ari's tirade at the restaurant may ruin his wife's birthday (Sun., 10:30PM, HBO) season 7 finale