You know what's funny about William Shatner?

William Shatner being William Shatner.

The Shat uttering contrived sitcom lines, which is what happens on '$#*! My Dad Says' (8:30PM ET Thursday, CBS), doesn't make him funny.

Shatner tries hard to fit himself within the narrow confines of this brittle sitcom, but the entire enterprise ends up working against the enjoyably goofy, spontaneous aspects of his personality.

The fact is, the Shat doesn't thrive in the setup-joke rhythm common to traditional sitcoms. He has a Weird. Rhythm. All his. Own.

But that isn't the only problem bedeviling this sitcom. The idea behind it -- that a popular Twitter feed could be the foundation for a good sitcom -- is fatally flawed.

The Twitter feed @ShitMyDadSays was popular because it offered a bite-size nugget of Cranky Old Guy wisdom once or twice a day. It was a source of mild amusement on an occasional basis. A whole show's worth of that irritable voice -- neutered and tamed by sitcom conventions -- ends up being tiresome.

It would take a particularly skilled, subtle and winning comic actor to make that cranky guy amusing. Shatner's got many things going for him -- mainly that hambone presence and game enthusiasm -- but he's not the right actor for this kind of sardonic role.

The Twitter feed worked as an organic, viral online presence, but everything about the sitcom feels inorganic and forced. The attempt to shoehorn the Shat into the strained story of a father and an adult son, Henry, getting to know each other for the first time seems false. And when there are glimmers that it might work, Shatner's character, Ed, is visited by his grating other son, Vince, and his even more grating wife, Bonnie. They're awful.

Let's face it, the Shat is already something of a cartoon character (and a beloved one at that). Putting him in a cartoonish father-son sitcom is not a good use of his skills.


Follow @MoRyan on Twitter.