'Two and a Half Men' Season 8, Episode 2 Recap

['Two and a Half Men' - 'A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer']

Oh my goodness! Is it possible that in the eighth year of 'Two and a Half Men,' one and a half of the men might be moving out? Perhaps ... Charlie has even taken to enlisting the help of the Lord above to get Alan – and by extension, Jake – out of his house.

But wait, it can't be that easy, can it? No, not in Harper-world, and certainly not for Charlie. Besides, Charlie needs something in his life to keep his brain working. He hasn't been pining over Chelsea, but he's not doing anything else either. He never works and his days meld in sunshine, beachy days of watching the tube and leering at the lady on the 'Cash for Gold' commercial. He needs a purpose ... like getting Alan out of the spare room for good.

That was the premise for this second episode of the new season and what a refreshing turn of events this is.




Alan's love affair with Lindsay (Courtney Thorne-Smith) has been going along swimmingly, until last week when their sons – Eldridge and Jake – found out. No big whoop, right? Wrong. Lindsay has taken the somewhat logical next step by using the 'L' word with Alan and then inviting him to move into her house.

In typical schnook-like fashion, Alan dodged the question with Lindsay, only to blab to Charlie about his option. Honestly, does Alan really think that Charlie would ask him not to take Lindsay up on her invitation? Doesn't he remember the time he wound up in the studio apartment by the airport when he thought Charlie wouldn't really let him move out?

Apparently not, because Alan was surprised that Charlie was all for the move. When Alan explained that he'd be more comfortable remaining in the Malibu beach house – and who wouldn't – it was a cue to Charlie to make Alan as uncomfortable as possible.

The Larry bird – actually a bird that was named Larry -- was a nice touch and led to a litany of bird jokes, but it was even better when Charlie resorted to using cold hard cash to get his way. Jake and Eldridge epitomized dumb and dumber as they peered at the five one hundred dollar bills and couldn't figure out how to divide them equally. (Although I do give props to Jake for recognizing that living half the time in a luxury beach house was more appealing that down the street from Mom and Herb.)

Charlie even went so far as to grease Alan's palm with a C-note, suggesting his tightwad bro buy a bottle of champagne to celebrate the move to Lindsay's. The reappearance of Melissa at the liquor store was reason enough for Alan to risk it all with Lindsay for a quickie back at Charlie's.

Again, whatever made Alan think that Charlie would be on board with the pied-a-terre arrangement? Instead of just changing the locks, Charlie might want to barricade the doors and windows and make it like a fortress. Maybe a moat would work?

Of course, by next week this story arc could be over and Alan will be back in the guest room. Lord knows, it's happened before. Sorry, Charlie. By the way, did you notice that Charlie is back on the booze? That was a martini on the piano as he was singing "Hit the Road, Jack" about Alan's exit.

Dialogue We Liked

Alan: Why do you love me?
Lindsay: I don't know, I just do.
Alan: That's not fair. Why do I get the essay question?

Alan: This is my home. I'm comfortable here.
Charlie: No. This is my home, and before you moved into it, I was comfortable here.

Charlie: Thanks again for watching Larry.
Alan: I'd say 'bite me,' but that's been taken care of.

Charlie: How do you get a guy to leave your house who doesn't want to go?
Berta: Tell him you missed your period and you're out of pot. It always worked for me.

Charlie (to the Lord above): Okay, that's it. Le me speak to your supervisor.

Sight gag of the week: Charlie and Alan in the shower together.

'Two and a Half Men' airs Mondays at 9PM ET on CBS.