Senate Outlaws Loud Commercials, But There's More to be Done
Citizens always complain that politicians never get anything done, but it's not true. Last week the Senate settled one of the big issues of our time. Healthcare? Illegal immigration? The war in Afghanistan? No, something even more important -- to TV fans anyway. They made it illegal for commercials to be too loud!This may seem like a trivial matter, but it's most definitely not -- at least not when you're sitting on your couch watching your favorite sitcom and then the commercials come on and for some reason they are nine times louder than the program you're watching. It's especially bad when local commercials are injected into the show -- they're the loudest. It's almost as if local businesses are screaming PAY ATTENTION TO US, WE'RE IMPORTANT TOO!
But the Senate doesn't have to stop with the volume of commercials. Even though I actually love commercials (yes, I'm one of those people), there are four other things I'd like to see them fix.
Commercials repeated 20 times an hour.
You often see the same commercial repeated several times an hour, especially during a sporting event. I remember watching the U.S. Open and some of the other tennis events during August and seeing the same commercial around 20 times in one hour. It's not as if the sponsor had several different commercials during the hour -- it was the same exact commercial repeated over and over and over again. Every single commercial break. If you didn't hate the product being pushed before, you did after seeing it so many times.
It's almost as if they're pleading with you to change the channel during the commercials. Please companies (and networks pushing their other shows), give us a few different looks at what you're selling, OK? Let's put it this way. I'll embed some commercials below. Imagine if I embedded the same ads 19 more times in this post. You'd hate it.
Sports stars in commercials.
In accordance with the Peyton Manning Endorsement Act that Congress passed in 2004, every sixth commercial that is shown on television must star quarterback Peyton Manning and/or his brother Eli. I honestly don't think there's a product and/or service -- whether it's food, clothing, or electronics -- that at least one of the Manning brothers hasn't pitched.
But I'm not sure I dislike seeing the Mannings in so many commercials as I do Shaquille O'Neal. He has a sore back, he loves Comcast, he watches ESPN, he eats at Burger King, he drinks Vitamin Water. And those are just the ads I've seen since I started typing this sentence. It probably doesn't help that he's now on the Boston Celtics and I'm going to have to spend the fall and winter hearing his name on my local news every night.
And just to taunt me, there's now an ad featuring Shaq, a Manning brother, and a Williams sister together.
Show promos that give away too much.
We're used to this practice for movie trailers, but it happens on TV too -- a lot. You're watching a TV show, and an ad for another series you watch will come on and give away a big moment in the upcoming episode.
Maybe it's an explosion or a death or a plot twist or two unlikely characters hooking up -- why do this? If you don't watch, you're not likely to start just because there's a flash promo. And if you do watch, why would you need to if you already know what's going to happen?
My favorite is the promo where the narrator says something like "this is the episode you can't afford to miss" or "you'll never believe what happens at the end of this episode!" Both are usually untrue statements. The first line is used all the time -- how can every episode be the one I can't miss? -- and the other line is a clue to what the twist will be. If I "can't believe it" then I can probably guess that it's not the obvious thing, it's just the second-most obvious thing.
All political commercials.
They're either nasty, inaccurate, ineffective or just plain lame.
Oh, what do I know. Maybe they are effective. I'm certainly not going to forget that ad.

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