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October 13, 2015

'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Premiere Recap

by Rebecca Adler Warren, posted Oct 15th 2010 11:20AM
['Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' - 'Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Wealthiness']

Champagne wishes and caviar dreams. These are the promises of a fresh crop of Real Housewives -- especially when the happy homemakers hail from Beverly Hills.

Yes people, Bravo must have struck black gold because everyone's favorite franchise has taken up residence in the 90210.

The buzz about 'RHOBH' has been that these ladies are really, truly, dripping in diamonds, best boob job in town rich. And judging by the square footage of their mega mansions, the rumors true.

So break out your housewives trading cards -- there are 47 of them now (!) -- and lets meet the ladies!

Lisa VanderpumpLisa Vanderpump
Lisa's kids have left her (ginormous) nest, so the deep-voiced, British-born restaurateur has taken to collecting small dogs and strange young men. At what point does one go from visitor to "permanent houseguest," as Bravo so helpfully labeled Lisa's sun-kissed boarder Kato, er, Cicero? Unfortunately Lisa and Kato's relationship has little chance of turning into a Jackie Collins novel because Kato is gay, and because Lisa has closed up her lady shop, save for Christmas and her husband's birthday. Still, it's hard not to love a woman who refers to the Sacramento King's mascot as a "pantomime lion."

Adrienne MaloofAdrienne Maloof
Any 'Housewives' season worth its silicone has a token businesswoman (yes, we know how hard you work Vicki Gunvalson, Bethenny Frankel, Lisa Wu-Hartwell). In 'BH,' that title belongs to Adrienne, who will body-slam you in business and in life: She's an expert martial artist, which she demonstrated for the cameras by flipping her teenage stepson to the ground. Adrienne's family is mega-rich. They own the Palms Casino Resort, which has played a significant role in the trashiest (and best) reality shows on television, as well as the Sacramento Kings and a skateboarding competition. So it's only natural that she and her plastic surgeon husband Paul keep their cash under separate mattresses.

Camille GrammerCamille Grammer

Frasier's ex-wife wants us to know that although she's been called a trophy wife, she's much more than that. It's true -- she's also an a-hole (not a bad thing). She's fond of starting sentences with the phrases "This is so terrible, but ..." and "Don't judge me, but ..." while winking at the camera (or so it seemed). So what if she has four nannies who rotate between her two children? When we first meet Camille, she and Kelsey are still together. The decorated actor of stage and screen was a real sport. He even confessionalized to the cameras! You see Camille has taken a backseat to Kelsey's career, so he will let her do this show, but only if he can plug La Cage aux Folles, which he was starring in on Broadway (too bad this episode aired long after his campagin for the Tony). Kelsey is clearly an attention whore, which is probably why Camille is given to dancing with anyone who crosses her path, like the mascot and various floor workers at the Sacramento Kings game the ladies attended.

Taylor ArmstrongTaylor Armstrong
Taylor's top lip could murder an ice cream cone in seconds. But her plastic surgery is no accident. A fake face is the best defense against husband snatchers, Taylor's greatest fear. Her man Russell (think Scott Disick's brand of Patrick Bateman all grown up), an investment banker/venture capitalist, must have a wandering eye because Taylor will go to all sorts of lengths to protect herself from twenty-somethings. On this episode, she enlisted Adrienne's husband to shoot her face full of fillers. One needle-ful of lydocane transformed her temples into horrific, quarter-size lumps.

Kim RichardsKim and Kyle Richards
Paris Hilton's aunts have ushered in the first 'RHOBH' drinking game because these two love to remind us that they were esteemed child actresses. Kim spent most of the hour scrolling through her imdb.com profile. She was the Disney girl, she played a suicide jumper on 'ChiPs' opposite 'Surreal Life' alum Erik Estrada and the papparrazi once pushed Paris aside to get a picture of Kim because she was an icon. Kim's delusions are winning, especially when they involve birthing more children, which the divorced mom to four thinks is a strong possibility for her at age 46. As Lisa said about Kim's reserved, sad-eyed appearance, "Maybe she went back to 'Witch Mountain.'"

Kyle RichardsKyle is also an actress ('Halloween,' 'Little House On the Prairie'), but she puts her four kids before her career. She likes to have babies in between acting gigs, so we can surmise she's acted a total of four times, including that E! True Hollywood story and Paris and Nicky.

What did you think of the Housewives? Will Kim split, Dina-style, before the end of the season? Was Camille reenacting 'Flashdance' in her opening montage? And what was up with Adrienne's glitter hair extensions?

'RHOBH' airs Thursdays at 10 PM EST on Bravo

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Looking forward to Season 2 of RHOBH

April 15 2011 at 1:18 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

So break out your housewives trading cards Well written and insightful.

October 19 2010 at 9:28 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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