'Mad Men' Halloween Costume: Bert Cooper

How to dress up like 'Mad Men's Bert Cooper for Halloween

The Costume: Bert Cooper (played by Robert Morse), the elder statesman of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce on 'Mad Men'.

We are already missing SCDP's wisest mad man (did he really retire? Just like that?). Anyone resplendent in Bert attire at the end of the month would be a welcome Halloween presence.

What You'll Need: A herringbone suit, snappy for any season. A "Nixon '60" campaign button should be pinned to the lapel. Colonel Sanders' facial hair and bowtie. Fill your pocket with a handkerchief or two, to keep at the ready to offer to weeping laid-off employees. A crumpled, smoldering dust jacket from a first edition of 'Sterling's Gold.' And clutch a few of Mrs. Blankenship's erotic phone messages from 1938.

If it's Retirement Bert you're aiming for, get in the mood by sighing deeply while pouring yourself a thimble-full of sake. Then drape yourself in a kimono embroidered with the words "Who cares?"

How to represent Bert's disastrous orchiectomy? Uh, that's up to you.

Optional Accessories: Shoes.