['The Vampire Diaries' - "Plan B"]

"Katherine will only rip your heart out." -Damon Salvatore

The same could probably be said for Kevin Williamson and Julie Plec, 'The Vampire Diaries' writers extraordinaire. How else would you describe their uncanny knack for writing perfectly lovable characters only to brutally kill them off -- then have another character do something so despicable that the death is the least surprising thing that happened during the episode?

When Julie Plec told the crowd at New York Comic Con two weeks ago that 'Plan B' would be a "game-changer," she was making the ultimate understatement. Last night's episode proved that they didn't just change games, they changed planets -- solar systems even. Katherine is operating in her own universe of evil.

Despite some minor victories -- the gang found the moonstone! Hooray! -- the plot of 'Plan B' reads like the most macabre infomercial ever. Not satisfied with finding the moonstone? For a limited time only, Stefan will slowly decompose in a vat of vervain while he retrieves said stone. That not enough pain for you? Damon will slowly torture and then literally rip the heart out of mischievous Uncle Mason.

But wait! That's not all -- act now, and you can get an extra murder attempt! Katherine will personally cut off the vervain supply of your favorite aunt, then compel her to stab herself in the gut with a large knife. But wait! There's more. Katherine's actions will force you to break up with your soul mate boyfriend even though you're, like, totes destined to be together and he's a really sexy crier. Plus, if you call in the next 15 minutes, as a BONUS Katherine will compel your sweet, unassuming ex-boyf, Matt, to get his BFF to murder him, triggering an ancient werewolf curse. Supplies limited, offer good for a limited time only.

Bonnie used her witchy powers to determine the moonstone was somewhere small and wet. (There is some sort of joke in there but I'm going to move on.) Mason was hiding it in the bottom of a well near the Lockwood property. Stefan jumped down to retrieve it, only to realize the well water was steeped with vervain -- he was essentially marinating in a giant pot of skin-melting dressing. Caroline played heroic firefighter to Stefan's Baby Jessica, and he escaped with some gruesome burns.
Damon tortured Mason to find out why Katherine wanted the stone (thanks to Alaric, they knew Aztec legend said the original werewolf curse was cast with a moonstone) -- turns out, Mason was in love with Kat. Damon was like "Tell me about it, bro" (*not a direct quote), then said "Katherine will only rip your heart out. Let me do it for her." Then he LITERALLY RIPPED MASON'S HEART OUT. Let it be known: Mason is really, truly, for realsies dead. Let us pause for a moment to mourn the hotness of Uncle M.

Don't pause too long, because there's plenty more sadness to rehash. After Damon killed Mason, he made an ill-advised phone call to gloat to Katherine, who was like "Bitch, please. I've got a Plan B, Plan C, and Plan Lots of Other Letters of the Alphabet." (*not a direct quote). Then she rang up Elena to reveal that Jenna was now under her control. To prove it, she had Jenna jab a gigantic knife into her own stomach.

One good side effect to the Jenna incident: Mazel tov, Jeremy -- you are now a man! Jer already started hanging out with his new bros, Alaric and Damon, but he officially grew up and took charge at the hospital. He got kinda angry -- but, like, in a foxy way -- and embraced his older sister. "She's going to pay, Elena. I don't know how, but she's going to pay." Jeremy is like the opposite of the Hulk. I definitely like him when he's angry.

Caroline bonded with her vervain-free mother, who finally saw her daughter as a strong, independent woman. The sheriff realized that she could still love her little girl even though she was a vampire and told Caroline not to compel her to forget everything. Proving her mother right, Caroline compelled her anyway -- Mama would trust Caroline, but she would never trust Stefan or Damon. Caroline wanted to keep her new family safe as well as her mother.

Even bigger than Mason's death was the metaphorical death we witnessed in 'Plan B' -- the death of Stefan and Elena's relationship. "Katherine won," Elena tearfully admitted as she broke up with Stefan. Katherine got what she wanted -- Elena couldn't bear the thought that her family was in danger, and sacrificed her own happiness and her own true love to keep them safe. The one positive takeaway: Paul Wesley is a superb realistic crier.

Unbeknownst to the Mystic Falls crew, Katherine wasn't in the slightest bit finished with her life-ruining for the day. In the final scene, we saw her compelling Matt to provoke Tyler into killing him. Though I breathed a sigh of relief when it was Mason who kicked the bucket last night and not Mr. Dreamy Eyes himself, Zach Roerig, it turns out Matt's not safe after all. Tyler is definitely going to trigger the curse -- all we can do now is try not to nibble our fingernails down too much while we wait to see what happens.

What did you think of 'Plan B'? How many times did you audibly gasp during the episode?

'The Vampire Diaries' airs Thurs., 8PM ET on CW.