Pretend you're one of the richest, most powerful people on television. And pretend you buy an entire network and you're going to create a new channel from scratch. What would you put on that channel?

You would think that if you were a very rich, very powerful person, adored by millions, that you'd put shows on that you might not be able do find on other channels. You'd want to make that network special, right? So you'd probably want to steer clear of reality shows, makeover shows, typical daytime fare and self-help, right?

Not if you own OWN.

As we told you the other day, the line-up was released for the Jan.1, 2011 launch of OWN, Oprah Winfrey's network. While it was safe to assume there would be a lot of the above on the schedule -- Dr. Phil and other Oprah-sponsored people giving advice, reality shows and other fare to cater to 'The Oprah Winfrey Show' demographic -- I truly wasn't prepared for how lackluster and lame the new shows would sound.

We have 'Ryan & Tatum: The O'Neals' and 'The Judds,' two reality shows that will follow celebrity families, in case you're looking for something to fill in the gap until 'Harry Loves Lisa' returns; 'In the Bedroom with Dr. Laura Berman,' which probably just sounds like it's a makeover show but will focus on sex; 'Miracle Detectives,' which isn't the next 'Touched by an Angel' or 'Highway to Heaven;' 'Enough Already with Peter Walsh,' which in my dreams is about why there are too many reality shows on the schedule but is actually about organizing your home;' 'The Gayle King Show;' and approximately nine shows that will revolve around Oprah and/or the last season of her show.

We also have something called 'Kidnapped By The Kids,' which sounds like one of those terrifying Lifetime movies where a family member is put in danger. Maybe it's something more positive, but if it is, they really have to change the title.

Yes, there are some shows that seem worthy and might even -- gasp! -- appeal to men, like Christina Ferrare's cooking show, a news series with Lisa Ling, and 'Oprah's Search For The Next TV Star' (even if it is reality) but it just seems like another network jammed with all the shows most people think we already have too much of. Rainn Wilson is in talks to bring something to the network, but even that show will be on the reality/spiritual/self-help end of the spectrum.

'The Best of Dr. Phil?' Mother of god.

If I didn't write about television for a living, I can't imagine having any interest in watching OWN when it debuts on New Year's Day. Sure, I'm not in the OWN key demo, but this isn't just about male vs. female. This is about good TV vs. bad TV, and this lineup is downright depressing.

Think about it. There are a lot of shows OWN could do:

'Oprah's Book Club.' Wouldn't it be great to have a 30- or 60-minute version of the book club every month? Get a bunch of readers to sit around and talk about the latest Oprah pick. Where else can you see that on television, except for CSPAN?

Perhaps not many viewers are looking for a regular, accessible show where people sit around talking about books, but if anyone can make a show like that a success, it's Oprah.

'My Favorite Things.' The annual holiday episode where Oprah tells you what she's currently into -- and gives it all away to the studio audience-- is one of her viewers' favorite episodes (and mine too). Wouldn't it be fun for her to do this on a regular basis, completely surprising the audience every few weeks or every few months (to keep them guessing)? She could even take it on the road to communities that truly need help, like she did a few seasons ago.

'The OWN Concert Series.' What singer or band wouldn't love to do an hour-long concert for Oprah and her viewers? And with Oprah's pull, connections, and likability-factor, she could probably get anyone she wanted.

Quality non-fiction shows and documentaries. How about a show on the latest tech gadgets, or a show about affordable travel and hotels, or maybe a real game show or some hard news documentaries?

Scripted shows. Why not? Aren't there enough reality shows on TV?

Yes, the series that were announced are just the ones that will launch the network. Maybe some of these shows will vanish and be replaced by better shows and the network will naturally grow. I certainly hope so. We all dream of what we'd do if we had our own television network, and now Oprah does. It would really be a shame if it was a lost opportunity.






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