I have a friend whose mother "disciplined" him in that way. He is now pushing 60 and STILL has panic attacks.

Actually hitting doesn't always work. It depends solely upon the child and just how stubborn they are. My parents tried spanking, time outs, grounding, taking things away, 3 hour long lectures. Nothing worked. If I wanted to do something I did it, end of story. Physical pain was fleeting, Time outs were nap time, I didn't need people or objects to have fun so Grounding and taking my toys did nothing, the Lectures were long and boring but it was a test of wills, one my parents never won.

Because they were unable to discipline me themselves. They were forced to wait for me to discipline myself. Which in itself was a bad idea, but they were left with no choice but to wait until I broke myself mentally so that I'd become more reasonable.

You're absolutely right! Whenever we reject God's instructions, we try in vain to find something that works. Time outs, locking children in closets, yelling and / or speaking hatefully, all DAMAGE the parent child relationship.

Our rules for spanking were

1. The child should know when he committed the infraction that he was doing wrong.
We had a list of five things: Lying, stealing, cruelty, direct disobedience, deliberate disrespect. (Lying being defined as ANYTHING you do or say to deliberately deceive someone. That includes evasion, exaggeration, etc.)

Second rule of spanking: Ask the child to tell what he did wrong. If he fails, explain it to him.

Third rule: Tell him that you are going to spank him because you love him, and it is your job to help him develop self-discipline. This can be expounded upon, depending upon the age of the child.)

Fourth rule: You must break the child's will, not his spirit.

Fifth rule: Pray with your child.

Sixth rule: Don't make the child say "I'm sorry." If he is not sorry, you have just forced him to LIE. Instead, make him say "I was wrong to ..."

I used to have two partial verses from the book of Proverbs posted on my wall, to remind me that I must not fail to discipline my child, and that I must do it lovingly:

"The tender mercies of the wicked are cruel."(Prov. 10:12b)

"Speaking sweetly increases learning." (Prov. 16:21b)

Here is the heart cry of our Heavenly Father:

"Oh that there were such an heart in them, that they would fear Me, and keep all My commandments always, that it might be well with them, and with their children forever!" (Deuteronomy 5:29)

Truly, ALL of His instructions are for our good!