A few things popped to mind after watching tonight's episode of 'Survivor;' Jeff Probst seems to be finding it harder and harder to stomach people's idiocies (and, really, who can blame him), this season is not doing a whole helluva lot to bolster Nicaraguan tourism and, man, that Brenda may have been bitchy, but she sure is a babe.

Ok, some other things came to mind too, things like 'Please tell me they didn't really just sink so low as to hawk a studio movie in the middle of the rainforest,' but, we'll get to that -- and other sickening things -- in a moment.

Hark back, if you will, to two Wednesdays ago when our fair Brenda was shown the door to the Ponderosa and all went haywire with pretty much everybody's alliances. In tonight's episode, we picked up with the aftermath of the ouster and then hunkered down for -- what else? -- some more rain.



The elements haven't made it easy on these contestants, and this time the two who always seem to be most adversely affected by the cold and the nonstop downpours -- Kelly Purple and Na'Onka -- cried uncle. They wanted out and they were going to tell Probst just that. After 28 days. With only 11 left. Huh?

But, first crazy Na had to take Chase aside and give him her "key to the game." And, simple as that, she bestowed upon the clueless jackman her idol. "My heart's not in the game like it should be, and I'm gonna give it to you because you my boy and I wouldn't give it to nobody else," said Crazy Na (as I so affectionately refer to her in my mind -- and blogs). Chase couldn't believe it himself and barely managed to utter a Beavis-like 'heh-heh' as he gazed at it in disbelief. No kidding, Chase, I couldn't believe my eyes either.

So, enough with the weather and the whining and let's move on to the Reward Challenge that brought product placement to an all-time low. Sure, we've had to endure the Sears and the Sprint phones and the myriad other sponsor mentions in years past, but this was one for the record books.

The challenge, which involved two teams each having to schlep a giant 8-foot dummy through several obstacles, was going to result in the winning team being sent to...ugh, I don't even want to type it. They were going to 'Survivor Cinema' (gag) to watch 'Gulliver,' the upcoming Jack Black remake of the classic Jonathan Swift tale and gorge themselves on hot dogs and popcorn and candy. Really? Yes. Really.

So after a schoolyard pick which, shock, found Dan standing as alone as the proverbial cheese, the race got underway and, while it was neck and neck most of the way, ultimately the blue team, consisting of Holly, Na, Benry and Chase, eked out the win - and Dan, because he'd put his money on them, would get to tag along too.

As they were reveling in their achievement Na raised her hand to tell Probst that "I've given every last bit of everything that I have and this will be my last day." "So you're quitting?" he asked, clearly annoyed. "Anyone else here want to quit." Um, that'd be Kelly P. "After 28 days..." she began, but the usually avuncular host cut her off. "You're quitting too?" he asked incredulously, barely stifling a smile. After he tried to change their minds, to no avail, he gave them till the night's Tribal to arrive at a final decision and then threw a wrinkle into the reward.

"If there's one person from this winning team that is willing to give up the reward, you can take back for the entire camp a tarp and enough rice to get you through for the last 11 days. This is a hero move." Yep. Which is precisely why Naonka just sat there and Holly stepped up and took one for the team. People made fun of gym teachers before this, I can only imagine what Na has done to further subject the profession to ridicule. "I mis-judged the person that Na' really was," Holly said afterwards. Ya think?

So, they went and enjoyed the reward and met every one back at Tribal where, surprise, it was raining. Marty, Alina and Miss Hawaiian Tropic made their grand entrance and both girls, despite sagely urgings and pontifications from the older folk, proceeded to confirm the fact that they were going to throw in the towel. Fabio and Benry looked disgusted and the jury members appeared downright outraged.

Happily for those of us watching at home, a clearly annoyed Probst made the two quitters squirm as much as possible. 'What should we do with your torches?' he asked Na'Onka? 'Smuff them,' she deadpanned causing Fabio to erupt with laughter. 'Yeah, snuff them,' corrected Kelly. But Probst insisted on keeping the extinguished torches on hand as a reminder of the fact that they'd quit. "You wanna go? GO" he said.

'That's f***** up man, that's really twisted," said Marty as they left. "Yeah, I gave her so much more credit" agreed Brenda.

'No more excuses,' urged Probst during the final moments. 'It's time to step up and play this game.'


'Survivor: Nicaragua' airs Wednesdays at 8PM ET on CBS.