['Survivor: Nicaragua' - 'Not Sure Where I Stand']

I'll get to the recap in a minute, but first, I need to vent. I can't stand that Sash. The guy is (with apologies to the late, great John Hughes) an oily bohunk. He's a shifty, slimy snake oil salesman and even in a game where those kinds of traits serve you well, he makes my skin crawl.

There. I feel much better. Now back to our regularly scheduled recap.

So, yeah, wah-wah, poor bohunk, his two partners in crime -- NaOnka and Purple Kelly -- threw in the towel last week and now he's left to fend for himself against the big bad redneck and the rocket scientist club promoter

What's a two-faced, backstabbing realtor to do? Why continue along in his nefarious ways of course and endeavor to convince both alliances that he's the sought-after "free agent" they require to seal the deal. Blech. Pass the Purel.

As Sash sashayed along trying to impress his importance to everyone, a pesky Reward Challenge presented itself. Only it's a deja vu. A rejiggering of previous obstacles and games that we saw just a couple weeks back. What happened? Did the "challenge boat" not clear customs? That's lame, Burnett. Boo.

But, as with several other challenge this season, the best part was when the two "old" ladies held their own against the young bucks to vie for the big prize -- a trip to a private resort and an honest-to-goodness (albeit outdoor) shower. Yep, Jane and Holly gave Benry and Chase a damn good run for their money before being beaten. Chase pulled out the victory and chose the women to go on the reward with him. Nice? Sure. Dumb? Certainly. That guy is a serious yutz. Or maybe he's a master manipulator. There's no other way to account for his egregious missteps at every turn. And the fact that he says "I'm not stupid" at every opportunity doesn't help matters. Me thinks he doth protest too much.

At this point in the game, the plotting and scheming become almost unbearable -- to the viewers anyway. It's not like the editors are going to intimate what actually may happen, so we at home are held captive by flaccid pontifications and feeble rationales until the actual truth is made known at Tribal. It's painful.

And that's precisely what happened last night after sneaky Sash stopped "sandbagging" and mustered a win in the Immunity challenge against Fab and Benry. With the necklace around his (wringable) neck, everyone scrambled to the nth degree. Well, everyone but Fab who, as usual, decided to play it cool.That kid doesn't seem to have a stress button. I'm jealous.

With the other six running around like chickens with their heads cut off (a recurrent theme in the episode that saw Jane's beloved feathered friend become a delectable dinner), the situation became downright laughable and I simply couldn't wait for Tribal and to be finished with all the histrionics. (And, yes, to see NaOnka in street clothes.)

Heading in to Tribal it was made to appear that it was all but a done deal that clueless Fab would be blindsided by the majority (including his pal Benry) and sent to the Ponderosa. But as is often the case with 'Survivor,' whaddaya know, there was a last minute reprieve for the babelicious surfer dude and slick Benry was offed in his stead.

And, while that's OK -- particularly because Ben seemed to morph into a weasel before our very eyes last night -- it's frustrating too. I say let us think what we want and keep the misleading music and editing to a minimum next go 'round.

'k?

'Survivor: Nicaragua' airs Wednesdays at 8PM ET on CBS.