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August 31, 2015

'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Season 1, Episode 13 Recap

by Rebecca Adler Warren, posted Jan 21st 2011 8:58AM
['The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' – 'Unforgivable']

This week's season finale of 'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,' had a lot to live up to-Camille's captivating shoulder roll, Cedric's miraculously miniature Speedo, Taylor's logic-defying lips, fabulous parties, heart-pounding fights and one incredibly weird, cigarette-smoking psychic. Lucky for us, the Richards sisters are more dysfunctional than we could ever imagine, and so we bid adieu to the 90210 babes with a bang.

Before the tape stopped rolling there was, you guessed it, a party to be had. The theme for the evening had nothing to do with dressing as a demented flapper or Alice in Wonderland for Rich White Ladies or brick oven pizza. Rather it was a sophisticated rooftop affair in honor of Taylor's 39th birthday, hosted by none other than Mr. Happy himself, Russell.

At first the party appeared to be quite subdued (save for Adrienne's disco ball-inspired sparkly silver pumps). There was champagne, sushi and good conversation. Kim, dressed like a Dynasty extra, was feeling confident after a makeup tutorial at Christophe salon. And Camille was too distraught about her impending divorce to even show up.

Things started to get weird when the camera panned around the room to reveal a who's who of 'Housewives' season one. Faye Resnick was there and so was Kim's former date Martin. There was Mauricio's mom, Lisa's daughter, the Maloof brothers, everyone's agents and even Kim's makeup artist from earlier in the episode. As Russell was giving an awkward, embarrassing toast to Taylor ("It's been a wonderful year..."), it became abundantly clear that he had nothing to do with putting this party together.

But it didn't really matter who picked out the tablecloths because, next thing we knew, Taylor was on a tear.

She marched her mile-long legs over to her favorite punching bag, Kim. Why would Taylor want to confront a whacko like Kim at her own alleged birthday celebration? Maybe she was pissed about Russell's toast or dreading her upcoming family trip to Mexico minus little Snowball. Whatever her reasons Taylor towered over Kim, ranting about how the former child star stirred the pot in New York.

Kim swirled her neck and wagged her finger and insisted Taylor had it all wrong. Then Kyle got in the mix, siding with Taylor and causing Kim to drunkenly remark, "She's faked by you!" Soon Lisa and Adrienne were there and all of the women ganged up on Kim, who ran out of the party crying. If the women weren't dressed like drag queens, you'd think this was a case of schoolyard bullying.

Kim is slightly crazy and clearly has issues, but this wasn't a fair fight. And Kim was so happy (or drunk?) in her new outfit and fabulous makeup it was sad to see her little world upended. She raced off to the limo, sobbing "Oh my god," over and over again.

But Kyle found her in the stretch and launched a fresh attack at her sister, who was so overwhelmed it looked as if her circuits were breaking.

"Mom had to die worrying about you and leave all this crap on my shoulders!" Kyle shouted. Then Kim accused Kyle of stealing her house. Wait. What? Kyle continued to taunt Kim, revealing that Mauricio gives her money ever month like she's "his second f***ing wife" and before we knew it the truth came out: Kim has been hiding her alcoholism all season.

So it turns out Kim would have fared much better as a cast mate on 'Celebrity Rehab,' because let's face it, she just doesn't fit in with the Lisa Vanderpumps of the world. Learning the truth about the former child star made her slightly more sympathetic and sort of explained her weird attachment to her kids, her lack of friends and her testy relationship with her little sister.

As Kim's alcoholism storyline commenced, a few others came to a close. Camille, whose antics I genuinely missed this episode, decided to file for divorce. Taylor and Russell planned a trip to Mexico to work on their marriage (kudos to them). And Lisa and Ken told Cedric (who is 37!!!) that he really does have to move out of their mansion.

All in all, it was a fitting end to a crazy, successful first season. The women gave us glitz, drama and plenty of trash talking. What more could a 'Housewives' fan ask for?

The Best of the Rest:

• Camille isn't the only one with a psychic friend. Kyle paid a visit to her clairvoyant, Rebecca, with her mom's ashes in tow. Creepy.

• Ken put down Giggy, grew a pair of balls announced to the camera, "The party's come to an end-f*ck him," in regards to 37-year-old hanger-on Cedric

• Camille recalled a humiliating run in with her NYC doormen, who refused to believe she was the real Mrs. Grammer. "I had to show my ID-how mortifying," she said. "Somebody's in the apartment as Mrs Grammer, it's just not me."

• Not to be out mortified, Camille had this to say about the person sleeping in her bed: "I do in my heart believe it's a woman." As if it might be a man?! I rewound that zinger three times.

• Maloof brought her PR guru to Taylor's party because "in Hollywood that's pretty much how most of us roll."

• "I don't really enjoy any of your company," Kim slurred to the other housewives at the party.

• "My only question is why would you argue in front of 75, 80 people," said Paul about the women's embarrassing brawl at the party.

What did you guys think of the episode? Are you shocked to learn that Kim's an alcoholic? Will Taylor and Russell mend their marriage in Mexico? And will you tune in next season?

'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' airs Thursdays, 10PM ET on Bravo.

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