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October 24, 2014

'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Reunion, Part 1 Recap

by Rebecca Adler Warren, posted Jan 28th 2011 10:30AM
On this week's reunion episode of 'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,' the ladies gathered in a gilded ballroom to rehash the season's hottest topics: Taylor's lips, Lisa's potty mouth, Camille's crappy personality and a string of expertly fought catfights (minus the clawing).

Luckily for Bravo's goofy godfather Andy Cohen, the Beverly Hills babes aren't ones to throw punches, so it was safe to host this reunion special in a grand, historic Los Angeles hotel.

Andy was accessorized for the taping with a magenta tie and pocket square that perfectly matched the room's floor-to-ceiling drapes. The women also looked their best. Lisa wore a crystal dickey of jewels, Kyle covered herself in rhinestone feathers and Adrienne ordered hotel staff to remove two of the ballroom's chandeliers so she could dangle them from her ears.

Andy eased into the gabfest with questions about plastic surgery (Lisa says she's never had any on her face; Adrienne wouldn't let Paul near her with one of his scalpels) and the jaw-dropping square footage of Lisa's mansion. Then he zeroed in on everyone's favorite Skinemax star, Camille.

Camille, who claims she did the show because Kelsey wanted her to, was not fazed when Andy rattled off close to 20 negative adjectives (conniving, narcissistic, hypocritical) the media has used to describe her. I think she even nodded her head in agreement at a few of them. Camille likes to portray herself as Kelsey's puppet, a Stepford wife forced to live in seven different homes with four nannies. But why would Kelsey need to divorce a puppet? Hmm?

One new thing we learned about Taylor: Don't talk about her charity! Especially if your name is Kim and you're trying to understand why a woman who's anti-violence would threaten to pull some Oklahoma on your ass. Kim made an effort to defend herself against the oh snap-isms coming out of Taylor's giant cotton candy hole, but Kim looked too much like a scared puppy about to pee all over the sofa for anyone to take her opinions seriously.

Inevitably, conversation turned to a topic I never want to hear about again: the off-camera fight between Camille and Kyle. Both women's eyeballs were in serious battle mode, widening and squinting in disgust. They went a few rounds before Kyle was officially declared the winner (by me at least) because it turns out she was the one who asked Camille (then a client of her husband's) if she'd like to join the cast. She also told Camille that, despite her misgivings, she should do something for herself and be part of the show. So Kyle wouldn't have a problem with Camille vacationing without Kelsey. Camille also admitted that, yeah, maybe she's a little insecure being the wife of the "beloved Frasier character."

Part 1 of the Bev Hills reunion turned out to be a rather tame affair. There was even a lot of hugging and handholding and a vow from Taylor that all of the women have Camille's back should anyone call her a delusional, passive aggressive freak to her face. We'll have to wait until next week to get the scoop on Kim's alcoholism and Lisa's estrangement from Cedric. In the meantime, let's not forget these highlights:

• "Thank you darling, like the Queen of England!" Lisa upgrading her status after Andy complimented her understated look

• "I'd like something cozier. I'd like to be able to find my husband instead of having to page him," Lisa on downsizing from her ginormous house

• "You have the balls of a burglar to be throwing rocks like that when you live in a glass house," Kyle's confusing metaphor in defense of her pal Faye Resnick to Camille

• "We'd have to pay people to buy our sex tapes," Taylor on rumors that 40-something Camille is shopping a naughty video of her and Kelsey

• "Do you have any poor friends?" Andy asked Lisa after a clip of her looking down her nose at the people of the DMV. "Well, you, Andy," Lisa responded

• "I'm not going to have surgery," Taylor said about removing her lip implant (so that's what it is!), as if surgery was a foreign concept to her

• "I know I grin and grimace a lot," Camille said about her Dr. Evil-inspired facial expressions

Talk to me, 'Housewives' fans: What did you think of the reunion? Was Taylor being overly aggressive with Kim? Do women really like Adrienne's tinsel? And if your husband was a plastic surgeon, would you let him do your lipo?

'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' airs Thursdays, 10PM ET on Bravo.

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