'American Idol' Auditions: Los Angeles Recap

I'm scared. Seriously.

After Austin's paltry offerings you might think Los Angeles, the showbiz capital of the world, would have more to offer than a man of questionable mental capacity in a feathered hat and wearing a costume adorned with bells, dancing to his own bizarre rendition of a James Brown tune.

Maybe we've come to expect too much of America's number one TV talent show.

While Arkansas' 59-year-old (so he thinks) Cooper Robinson was entertaining, I'm surprised the 'American Idol' producers chose him to bring down the house at the end of the hour. If there's a silver bullet out of L.A., we didn't see them in tonight's hour. Although do I have high hopes for Tim Halperin.

Halperin has already attracted buzz online (SPOILER WARNING) rumored to be among the Top 40. And if you give a listen to some of his original music, in particular the tune 'She Runs,' you can hear why. But Halperin's audition seemed to be more about J.Lo fan worship (and we definitely need more of that, right?) than his showcasing his talents. I can only hope we'll see Halperin on his game come Hollywood.

Among the new and exciting changes coming our way this season is the advent of MySpace auditions. While the social network has been all but abandoned with the emergence of Facebook, it's still offers unsigned artists a chance to promote their music, making it a natural choice for online 'Idol' auditions. But I've been highly skeptical of the next Adam Lambert coming from an online audition. And rightly so I'd say, after tonight's episode.

Sixteen-thousand auditioned via MySpace and only "a select few" were called back. Was 25- year-old Tynisha Roches of Hoboken, New Jersey, one of them? I suspect so. Roches showed up to her audition with a prop mic and a Frank Sinatra medley so deadly she never got past 'My Way.' In fact, Randy walked out in the middle, but that didn't stop Roches from following him backstage, while continuing to assault the panel with her earsplitting vocals. The segment was one of the funnier throwaway auditions this season, but I was hoping we'd be rewarded for sitting through it with a real stunner at the end. Instead we got "Pants on the Ground 2.0" (literally someone covering the song) and Cooper Robinson's spastic display. Did you know that Robinson "is gonna be in your bedroom, in your kitchen and in your closet?" Who does this guy think he is, Antoine Dodson?

OK, maybe Los Angeles wasn't all about crash and burn. We did get the Gutierrez brothers, who won the judges over with their fitting take on Bill Withers' 'Lean on Me.' The two sound sweet together, but whether or not either can carry a tune on their own remains to be heard.

Another likely MySpacer, 21-year-old New York City student Karen Rodriguez, wants to be the first "Latina 'American Idol.' " She'll at least have a chance to prove herself in Hollywood, thanks to what J.Lo labeled her "hot" rendition of Whitey Houston's 'You Give Good Love.'

But still, it's the jokers I'll remember most of about Season 10's stop in the City of Angels. After last night's lame apology on behalf of Steve Tyler and his foul mouth, shouldn't we demand the same of J.Lo for insisting 27-year-old Justin Carter's audition lacked "b*lls," which Randy Jackson reiterated.

And then there was Matt "Big Stats" Frankel, CEO of his own entertainment empire through which he produces "millions," err, rather "a bunch of great artists." Frankel's rap skills were lost on the judges, thus inciting the would-be music mogul to declare his "beef" with Randy.

I'll say it again. Frankel, Roches and Robinson were entertaining as hell, but after nine seasons of the likes of William Hung, Sanjaya and the good General Larry Platt, let's get on with the show already!









'American Idol' heads to San Francisco on Wednesday, February 9, at 8PM ET on Fox.