'The Real Housewives of Miami' Season 1, Episode 3 Recap
by Amy Kuperinsky, posted Mar 9th 2011 7:30AM
In a perfect world we'd have Elsa, Marysol's mom, go up against the pissed-off art guy. But since we can't have that, we can at least relish the one-liners bestowed upon us by the honorary seventh Miami housewife.
Precious Elsa gems:
"You know what, I hate to tell you, but most things look good on me."
"There's nothing better looking than a macho man dressed like a girl."
"I didn't come to this country to have paper flowers."
"What does he have to wash his hands ... because what? Because he's French?"
"You're going to leave me now that I'm tipsy?"
If it wasn't the words of the clairvoyant -- no, "witch" --- that stood out the most, it was the expenses incurred by the younger Miami set. Alexia's 17-year-old son Peter spent $600 of his parents' money on a ring for his girlfriend, also requesting a graduation party with a DJ who charges $10,000 for two hours (a proposal that Alexia promptly shot down). Larsa's 16-year-old brother got a car valued at $25,000 from her husband, Scottie Pippen.
Adriana's "mean girls" comment about Larsa and Cristy from the other week became a little more relevant when we saw them zooming away in the expensive car, bored of the gallery, reliving Cristy's penchant for "just stopping in" and jetting. Yet the idea is only a little more relevant, and not completely fair, because they got there before Adriana did, and she was the host. Still, Cristy seems to play by her own rules and her own feeling of what she wants to do in the moment.
It doesn't seem like Lea would care much what people thought of her Dame Edna glasses-and-black sheer get-up, but she had to know the ensemble would garner as much criticism as it did attention. And she's not one to shy from the spotlight. After all, she was already clamoring for a portrait of her own face before she found one waiting for her on the wall right in front of her in Adriana's gallery.
Despite any reasons for the delay in producing the artwork, the artist automatically put himself on the losing end of the conflict with Adriana. If he had three months to finish everything and still needed to fill four frames right before the opening, ending up with only half the planned amount of work, he shouldn't have allowed his guest to gripe so much about the inclusion of another artist. Or at least should have apologized, not agreed with the guy.
So far Alexia and Marysol are looking like the most even-keeled of the wives, Larsa having been another clear choice at the outset. Not so much now that her conversations have been colored by a closeness with Cristy.
'The Real Housewives of Miami' airs Tuesdays, 10PM ET on Bravo.