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October 13, 2015

'William & Kate' Review: Was it Good-Bad or Just Plain Bad?

by Jean Bentley, posted Apr 18th 2011 6:30PM
William and Kate, Royal WeddingLet's get this out of the way first: 'William & Kate' is a terrible movie. It's like the creators of this made-for-TV movie about Prince William and Kate Middleton's relationship started out with a checklist of the most ridiculous rom-com cliches to include, then gave up and tossed them all in there instead. She's not interested in him at first! She's better at sports! He's a terrible cook! Their first kiss is in the rain! (Not upside-down, sadly.)

Of course, that's also the reason I loved it.

Fortunately, after a clunky opening half-hour (we know they're going to get together, just start dating already!), 'William & Kate' hits its stride with that magical combination of ridiculous script, wooden acting and that should-be-patented Lifetime Original Movie awkwardness that infiltrates every one of the channel's rushed-to-TV creations.

The "movie" is essentially an hour-and-a-half long flashback montage outlining the Wills (he's a man of the people, don't call him Your Royal Highness) and Kate courtship, very obviously filmed nowhere near England or Scotland (the only remotely British-looking landscape appeared during a cloudy hunting trip).

And the script -- oh, the script. It's as if they cobbled together the dialogue from a series of tabloid headlines and really bad royal fan fiction. My favorite part: William's soliloquy on the relevance of the British Royal Family while in bed with his new girlfriend. Talk dirty to her, Wills.

Then there are these choice tidbits (no context necessary): "He's just a guy." "He seems pretty normal." "I'm not the heir, I'm just the spare." "My life was planned for me before I was even born." "I love the public you, I love the private you, I love the you no one gets to see but me." "There's no guidebook on how to handle this!"

William and Kate kissThe biggest disappointment of the entire movie was that the phrase "spot of tea" was uttered just once. Once! How else are we supposed to know this movie takes place in England?

For the most part, the story is a cursory, imagined look at what happened behind closed doors. But please, oh please let this part be based on real events: When Will seranaded Kate with a karaoke version of a song I didn't recognize. (I tried to Google the lyrics, but "I hurt the one I truly love" yields results solely comprised of emo LiveJournal poetry.) It's truly, truly painful, and not even in the "oh god this is the worst movie ever, let's drink more" kind of way.

Let's face it -- if you're a Lifetime movie fan, you're going to tune into this hot mess regardless of the reviews. If you're into hilariously crappy Lifetime movies like I am, this one'll be a gem. But if you're hankering for a royalty themed romantic comedy, Netflix 'The Prince & Me' and call it a day.

I shall leave you with these final three thoughts on 'Will & Kate': Why is nobody at St. Andrews Scottish? What kinds of college dining halls have tablecloths? And holy crap, KATE'S MOM'S FUR HAT.

'William & Kate' airs Mon., April 18 at 9PM ET on Lifetime.

Tell us: Did you tune in? What did you think?

Follow Jean on Twitter @hijean

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Reading your review while watching this hot mess. I look towards the screen and see "THE HAT"! I laughed. A lot.

April 23 2011 at 10:20 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I have to agree.I LOVE crappy,Lifetime movies...and yes,I did watch this mess.It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.I mean,it stunk,no doubt.But it was an enjoyable stinker.I loved the "I love the private you that only I get to see" line also.P and U.But some movies are sooo bad they're fun.And this was one of them.Cheers.Oh,I forgot the kareoke.Good Lord.

April 19 2011 at 12:23 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Blonde Girl

I'll admit I watched the movie, but not for the love story ... it was mostly because I wanted to see the portrayal of St Andrews, my alma mater. Guess that was a bit too much to ask! It seemed as though the only actual footage of St Andrews was put in via a green screen in the faaaar background of most of the scenes. Sad.

And to answer your questions ... of course there are Scottish people at St Andrews, but you have to remember that it's a very diverse campus. St Andrews has come under attack for having so many "public school" graduates (think prep schools in the US), but a good 20-30% of the students are international (being American, I was dubbed a "colonial" by a dapper young man with a fetish for expensive slippers and port, and other groups existed like "The Scando Mafia" - a very good-looking, and very tall, group of Norwegians, Swedes, and Danes - among others). The dining hall at Sallies, meanwhile, did NOT have tablecloths, though it does boast some very impressive stained glass windows.

And I want that fur hat.

April 19 2011 at 10:01 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Ben Cross deserves to be knighted. This is one actor that does not short change his fans. If you don't believe me, check out his Facebook page. After last night, he probably made Prince Charles look pretty damned good!

April 19 2011 at 6:51 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Pasha Bahsoun

I'm half tempted to DVR this just for the fact that they filmed parts of it at UCLA....for their rich British history?

April 19 2011 at 2:34 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

The acting is awful! The actors (particularly the one playing Kate) are also not nearly attractive enough or charismatic enough to be likeable! Dry, dull, rehearsed...

April 18 2011 at 10:55 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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