Chris Jericho's Hunt for the 'Elusive Eight' From 'DWTS' Judge Len Goodman
Exclusive: Despite landing in the bottom two, guest blogger Chris Jericho discusses the personal milestone he hit during week five of 'Dancing With the Stars.' Bigfoot. The Loch Ness Monster. The Holy Grail.
All of them are unsolved mysteries that have been studied and pursued for centuries. Yet none of them are as evasive or mythical as my personal 'Dancing With the Stars' White Whale: scoring an eight from Len Goodman.
My quest for the elusive eight started after week two, when Len awarded me the first of three successive sevens in the competition. It seemed no matter what I did or what Len thought of my dances, he always gave me the same score.
While a seven is nothing to sneeze at, I was really getting sick of that number. I mean, what is a seven anyway? Two stupid lines stitched together at an angle that makes it look like an upside-down nose?
Three sevens is great for a hand of blackjack or if you're playing the slots in Reno, but it's merely an above average score on 'DWTS.' And I've never wanted to be just "above average" in my life. If I ever was, I certainly wasn't too damn happy about it.
Do you think Wayne Gretzky wanted to be an "above average" hockey player when he scored 215 points in a season? Do you think Eddie Van Halen wanted to be an "above average" guitar player when he wrote 'Eruption'? Do you think The Situation wanted to be an "above average" comedian when he did the Donald Trump roast? OK, bad example, but you get my point. If you think I joined 'DWTS' because I wanted to be "above average" then you're more out of the game than Manny Ramirez.
I joined with the intention of winning ... or at least giving it my best shot. And being in the middle of the pack was not going to get that job done. So I decided after last week's paso doble that I was really going to work hard on getting that evanescent eight from Len.
I knew it wouldn't be easy. There would be no free passes for me from any of the judges, most especially Mr. Goodman. And I didn't want a free pass, I wanted to earn my keep. So partner Cheryl Burke and I worked harder than ever to put together a patriotic Viennese waltz that would take me out of mediocrity and to the top of the pack. With my waltz, I wanted to finish more lines than a Shakespearean actor and display more fluidity than the fountains at Caesars Palace.
Despite the fact the first day of constant spinning and turning left me feeling more nauseous than Justin Bieber at happy hour, I forged on and slowly began to conquer the dance. When Monday night's performance arrived, I was prepared and feeling confident that this was going to be Team Chericho's night!
We created what I felt was a beautiful performance, and our best dance of the competition -- and the judges agreed! Bruno Tonioli leapt out of his chair and said I was elegant and beautiful. I think he wanted to take a bite of me. Carrie Ann Inaba said the judges had underestimated me and that I was officially a contender!
Then Len spoke ... and said he thought it was good, but made of point of adding that he would give me an eight if (and only if) he thought I deserved it.
We awaited our scores during the commercial break, and I asked Cheryl if she thought Len would give us that ol' cagey eight. She thought because of his words that he would give us another seven. I didn't know what to think, but if you had put a gun to my head I would've said he was gonna come through.
I was so focused on Len that I almost passed out when Carrie Ann gave us our first nine! A nine! I couldn't believe it, and screamed like Jamie Lee Curtis in 'Halloween.' Then it was the moment of truth. I looked at Len. He looked at me, and slowly raised his paddle to reveal ... an eight!
I leapt a tall building in a single bound, and Cheryl and I bounced up and down like two Canadian/American/Filipino jumping beans. We did it! Then Bruno followed up with another nine to give us a whopping total of 26!
It was my best score of the competition by far, and, even better, that rascally "Len Eight" had been captured. It was my favorite moment of the show and a night to remember. But now the real work begins ...
'Dancing With the Stars' airs Mondays at 8PM ET and Tuesdays at 9PM ET on ABC.

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