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October 4, 2015

As Seen on YouTube: A Royal Wedding Video Roundup

by Stephanie Earp, posted Apr 25th 2011 2:00PM
William and Kate's nuptials are only days away, which means there's only a few more days of embarrassingly bad television news reporting of the event to endure.

I don't think it's quite as bad in the U.S., but since Will will eventually be our head of state, the Canadian press has decided we Canadians want endless coverage of the "I do" affair.

CBC's news 'The National' has included a few minutes of wedding reporting in almost every episode for the last month (blessedly, usually after news about our upcoming election, though you can tell they'd love to lead with it).

All the cable nets have a few specials going, entirely composed of event speculation: What will Will and Kate spend their money on? What will people wear to the wedding? How valuable will plates with their faces be in ten years?

My feeling is, if you're going to make stuff up and speculate about all the event's details, you might as well have fun with it (something mainstream networks haven't done, yet). Which is what drew my eyes away from the small screen to the even smaller screen: The best royal wedding videos on YouTube.

Leaving aside the various conspiracy videos that attack Kate Middleton as unfit for rule, a party girl or simply 'common' (that most British of insults) here are a few of my favourites.

This actually exists -- it's a book of knitting patterns. You can knit all of these characters, their clothes and even the corgis. It even comes with a fold-out backdrop so you can play with your toys when you're done. It's so deliciously weird -- hitting that very special demographic of advanced knitters (the patterns are hard!) who like royals, playing with dolls and, yet, have a sense of fun.

Considering it's William that brings the royal baggage to this union, the 'net is rife with pleas from average guys -- usually in song -- asking Kate to reconsider. This one features a boys choir, Lady Gaga and a decent Kate look-a-like. I admit I'm surprised these guys are having so much trouble finding a Kate of their very own. In my experience, there are plenty of dark-haired beauties who will wear sheer dresses in school fashion shows -- I went to university with a pile of them. Come to Canada guys -- we got your Kates right here.

This video gets points for featuring an original song as sung by dirty sock puppets (the socks are dirty, not the lyrics). Presenting the other side of the imaginary romantic triangle, this song fantasizes about crashing the wedding and running off with the Prince. It even includes about as many jokes about willies as you can cram into three minutes.

I understand making 'Sims' movies and videos is something of an art form -- and I admit it's one I don't know much about, so if I'm recommending a weak effort here, forgive me. There are a few genuinely awesome moments -- the soft, touched look on the face of a soccer hooligan watching the ceremony on TV, Prince Harry turning up in a bath towel and Prince Charles falling on the dance floor. If the wedding was going to be anywhere near as fun as this, I would actually tune in.

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