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'The Bachelorette' Season 7, Episode 1 (Season Premiere) Recap

by Laura Prudom, posted May 24th 2011 1:30AM
Ashley Herbert['The Bachelorette' - 'Season 7, Episode 1']

It's that time again, scandal fans -- 'The Bachelorette' is back for another summer of love, and though Ashley Herbert isn't touting a title even half as grandiose as "America's Sweetheart" Ali was last year, her prospective bachelors look no less hunky (or nutty) than the last crop, and isn't that what we're all here for? Oh yeah, and that whole "quest for a soulmate" thing, of course.

Our dainty dancing dentist wasn't exactly my favorite of Brad's bachelorettes, but who am I to question the capricious Reality TV Gods? At least the girl wasn't in need of any "intensive therapy" or "soul searching" after Brad kicked her to the curb (if I ever hear the words "changed man" again, it'll be too soon), so she'll hopefully offer us more perkiness and less weeping this time around.

At this stage of the game, it's hard to even keep the guys' names straight, let alone make any predictions, but let's take a look at our lineup and decide who earned our first impression rose tonight ...

After some typically pensive jogging, interpretive dancing and gazing longingly out of a window, Ashley pepped herself up enough to slap on a sparkly dress and meet her potential soulmates -- not a hard gig, if you can get it. Anything is preferable to another 'Rocky' homage -- poor Philadelphia must rue the day Sly Stallone first jogged up those steps.

The first guy we met in the introduction videos was also No. 1 out of the limo, and it's no wonder that dreamy Ryan P. scored Ashley's first impression rose. I could go on about his sunny disposition and beaming smile, but he made enough solar puns for all of us. Still, it's nice to see a guy who's environmentally conscious, seemingly genuine and undeniably attractive -- marry him, Ashley! Oh, wait, there are 24 more? Sigh.

Other hotties guys who made a good first impression (on me, anyway): Preppy William from Columbus, Ohio. His intro video overplayed his bad luck with an umbrella a little too much, but the man is certified cute. He's apparently the "stepping stone" that women date before finding their soulmate, but he seemed sweet, and showed a little more depth when he revealed that he wears a watch that supposedly stopped at the exact time that his alcoholic father died. He kept the sob story to himself with Ashley, though, and charmed her by calling himself "just" a salesman, before demonstrating his Sean Connery impersonation skills.

Another potential dreamboat was Ben C., who not only possessed a certain je ne sais quoi in his introduction to Ashley (he's the dude who spoke French, duh), but also made the genius decision to lift a scene right out of 'Love Actually,' the perennial chick-flick favorite, by grabbing Ashley's attention at the window with hand-written cards tempting her to come outside and talk to him. FYI: Stealing tricks from any Colin Firth movie is a surefire way to get a girl's attention, fellas.

Our blushing Bachelorette also had some definite chemistry with pink-shirted JP, the construction manager whose boss calls him "cupcake" -- she wanted to steal his nickname, but there was still a little flirtation going down.

It wouldn't be 'The Bachelorette' without a few crazies: First, we had Jeff, the masked man of mystery whose brave decision to obscure his face gave the producers all the justification they needed to whip out the ominous, "almost-exactly-'Phantom of the Opera'-but-just-different-enough-to-avoid-paying-royalties" music every time he was on screen, which was amusing. He's obviously been taking dating tips from NBC's 'The Voice' -- anyone would think that 'The Bachelorette' is just a shallow excuse for opportunistic fame-mongers to grab the spotlight, or something!

And then there was Tim. Poor, tragic Tim. He made an awkward entrance by basically going mute as soon as he met Ashley, then developed a rapid and baffling vendetta against Jeff -- complete with swearing, a brief pillow fight and a bizarre invitation to dance -- before he proceeded to get totally drunk, slur incoherently at Ashley and fall asleep outside, whereupon he started snoring loud enough to wake the dead. A word to any potential 'Bachelor/ette' contestants: Getting hammered on the first date and needing three of your potential soulmate's other suitors to drag your boozy butt to the car? Not a ringing endorsement of your eligibility. I wonder if he was chugging winemaker Benjamin's special bottle for Ashley while our backs were turned?

Yes, there were approximately 700 Bens (and Ryans) at the Bachelor Pad this week (OK, two and a half) but it was Bentley (the half) who made the biggest impression on Ashley, and not in a positive way. Bizarrely, before the show even began, our Bachelorette apparently got a call from a former contestant who knows Bentley's ex-wife, and said friend warned Ashley that Bentley was not there for the fabled "Right Reasons" -- allegedly, he's there to promote his business. Gasp!

Chris Harrison milked this revelation for all it was worth, of course, and it's far less dramatic than having a scorned lover call Ashley mid-season to drop the bombshell, as Ali had to face with Justin "Rated-R" Rego last summer, but it adds an interesting dynamic to the season. Ashley foolishly decided to give Bentley the benefit of the doubt because he seemed like he was being genuine (i.e., because he's hot and she wants to keep the ratings up), but he immediately confirmed our suspicions in his video diary by admitting he's not all that attracted to Ashley, but he is competitive. Uh oh ...

At the end of the night, we lost Tim before the actual rose ceremony (on account of him being an embarrassing drunkard), Jon, Frank, Rob, Anthony, Chris M. and Mike. But, since we don't really know who any of those dudes are yet, we won't be shedding any tears.

'The Bachelorette' airs Mondays at 9PM ET on ABC.

Which of Ashley's suitors made the best impression on you? Are you excited to see her as the new 'Bachelorette,' or were you rooting for one of Brad's other exes to get the chance? Share your reactions below!

Follow Laura on Twitter: @LauinLA

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Spring before winter comes, whether or not we should choose and buy goods, don't wait good spring winter comes, in a hurry, the choose and buy of abnormality.
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A discount of 55%. Cheap and fine. The global free shipping costs! Don't miss it!Accept wholesale!

October 24 2011 at 2:27 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
elle mckey

west!! his story was so sad, he's very attractive, and the compass he gave her was so cute! blake, because he's attractive and a dentist.
sidenote: i refused to watch brad's season, so i don't know this girl (seems annoying to me from the clips from his season), what was with the french??

May 24 2011 at 8:50 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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