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'The Real Housewives of New York City' Season 4, Episode 8 Recap

by Allison Waldman, posted May 27th 2011 2:00AM
The_Real_Housewives_of_New_York_City_bravo_2011_Jill_Zarin['The Real Housewives of New York City' - 'Misfortune Teller']

The idea of sending 'The Real Housewives of New York City' to Morocco must have seemed like a perfect kind of 'Sex & the City' adventure for Jill, Ramona, Alex, Kelly, Luann, Sonja and Cindy.

Unfortunately, these ladies didn't have Michael Patrick King writing the script. In fact, the material wasn't even up to Hope and Crosby's 'The Road to Morocco.' They needed help.

Why on earth did Luann take responsibility for this Arabian adventure? It's a thankless task, trying to please these women.

But the Countess had it in mind to schlep the whole gang to Morocco. Marrakesh, actually, but not in a five-star hotel. Luann had arranged for the ladies to be in a luxurious riad, which was like an amazing villa/fortress in the desert.

The house was lovely, but getting there brought out the ugly American in Sonja and Ramona. Presumably their driver was deaf because some of things they said should have got them tossed out of the car. And despite the presence of a dozen servants, some of these New Yorkers were expecting the Ritz-Carlton and were determined to be treated like royalty.

The first thing that became evident was that by dividing the women into two groups, trouble was sure to follow. The blondes came on the second jet -- Ramona, Sonja and Alex -- and they suddenly bonded like sisters. That meant Luann, Jill, Cindy and Kelly had a chance to dish about the blondes before their plane even touched down.

Ramona was traveling with an attitude, as well as her entire Manhattan wardrobe. La Singer was expecting to be treated like a countess since the Countess had arranged for the trip, so she e-mailed her demands ... um, requests. She had to have help unpacking, and there was so much stuff in her bags that I was astonished not to see the pinot grigio.

It didn't take long before drama ensued. For the first time since 'Mommy Dearest,' hangers took on a new significance. While Cindy was having lunch, her closet was raided for hangers. Holy Joan Crawford! Cindy pointed fingers at Ramona and Sonja.

Luann tried to be the R.A. and calm the waters, but it was too late, hangergate erupted. There was blood in the water over wooden hangers and Cindy, who's not such a happy camper anyway, was pissed off.

Sonja and Ramona had their own agenda, which put Luann's nose out of joint. They refused to have lunch to hang out with the girls. So while Jill and Luann and Cindy and Kelly shopped, Sonja and Ramona found a five-star hotel and drank. Alex was the wisest one of all; she took a nap.

At the shops, Jill arranged to run into her old buddy Brad, from season 1. He was her 'gay' husband Brad, remember? They drifted apart after he decorated -- or desecrated? -- her New York apartment. Brad claimed to have a house in Morocco and invited the housewives to his birthday party. Oh, Bravo, you're so obvious. Brad was clearly a plant to set up some conflict in this dull desert locale.

So Brad's house wasn't really his; it was a B&B. And it wasn't in the best part of town. Still, in true 'Sex & the City' tradition, the gals had to go for it. Fortunately Sonja and Ramona were too drunk to be upset.

They seemed to have no idea what they were saying or how gauche they were acting. Ramona yammered about Sonja's antidote -- she meant an anecdote -- which was just another dig at Cindy. These women are going to kill each other before this holiday ends.

And then the snakes came out. Real Moroccan snakes. Sonja and Ramona refused to play along, but Alex was cool and Jill wrapped the snake around her head. After some crazy dancing, the fortuneteller arrived.



She had something to say for everyone: Jill had a big heart and a big mouth (although Luann may have added that part); Sonja was told not to worry about money. Kelly's reading was all about having another kid, which was sweet. Kelly is definitely trying to create a different image for herself ... and it's working.

Ramona's reading was very cryptic because the implication was the Mario had another woman in his life. And not daughter Avery! Oh my goodness, is this legit or are we being played? (I think we're being played.)

'The Real Housewives of New York City' airs Thursdays at 10PM ET on Bravo.

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