['The Bachelorette' - 'Season 7, Episode 4']

If I hear the name "Bentley" one more time ...

As this week's 'Bachelorette' began, I cheerily hypothesized that taking a shot every time Ashley mentioned the B. word would result in a much more enjoyable viewing experience, but a quarter of the way through the show, I realized that the entire audience would be dead of alcohol poisoning by 10PM if they attempted it.

To be fair, that still might have been preferable to watching Ashley lament the premature exit of her One True Love all week long, but it probably wouldn't have made a good impression on ABC's advertisers.

Still, as infuriatingly oblivious as Ashley was this week, it's easy to forget that she wasn't privy to the dastardly side of Bentley we've seen from the start, since I'm fairly sure she wouldn't have been making gooey eyes up at the sky and taking pensive boat rides in Phuket if she'd heard him whining about how annoying it was that she wouldn't stop crying while he was trying to dump her.



Then again, if he'd actually admitted all of those Emily-loving feelings to Ashley last week, I'm sure there wouldn't have been a show for us to watch this week, and our Monday nights would've become bleak and desolate indeed.

Bentley was gone, but definitely not forgotten, in last night's episode -- more's the pity -- and at first, it seemed as though our perky Bachelorette had entirely lost her sparkle, bafflingly admitting that she'd been so focused on ending up with Bentley (seriously? After three weeks of smarm?) that it was hard for her to even open her heart to any of the other guys. She sure could have fooled me on all of her previous one-on-one dates -- especially since Bentley never actually got one.

Like poor JP last week, the exotically named Constantine got a tough break in being stuck with a depressive, Bentley-fixated Ashley for his first one-on-one, and her bleak mood was only compounded by the rain and the resulting cancellation of their magical boat ride to a private island. Instead, they wandered the streets of Phuket, accosting random strangers and asking them for relationship advice, which was all kind of awkward and contrived but still maybe-sorta sweet at the same time, since Constantine seemed genuinely enthusiastic about the whole thing.

He admitted that he was there for the all-important Right Reasons (although if he wasn't, it's obvious Ashley wouldn't have noticed anyway) and that their low-key date had helped him separate his excitement for the trip from his excitement for Ashley. In other words, he wasn't really feelin' it before, but now he's totally over his Emily disappointment too, promise.

The group date wasn't really a date, but it was definitely the best thing that 'The Bachelor/ette' has ever done -- decorating and fixing up the Baan San Fan orphanage, a refuge for a number of homeless and orphaned children displaced by the 2004 tsunami. The bachelors were giving Ashley a liiiiittle bit too much credit for coming up with the date on her own, but it was obviously a life-changing experience for some of the guys and for the kids that were helped, so I have no snark for this paragraph. (They're still in need of donations, so check out the link above, if you feel so inclined.)

Unfortunately, some of the guys weren't feeling so charitable towards solar-powered Ryan P., who apparently elected himself ringleader of the decoration effort and started ordering the other fellas around. Testosterone poisoning ensued, and those dimples didn't hold much water with the rest of the bachelors, who started making the annual "if she likes him, I can't possibly be her type" complaints. A word of advice, guys -- most girls only have one type: Not A Douche. And, judging by their behavior, there were a lot of guys who "weren't Ashley's type" this week ... At least Ryan didn't insult her breasts.

Though Ben F. made the best impression on Ashley during the orphanage date and got the rose (and a smooch) at the end of the night, JP was obviously feeling a teeny bit possessive too, especially after finding out just how many of the guys Ashley's locked lips with so far (the floozy! Anyone would think this was a reality dating show!) and stole a little one-on-one time at the end of the group date for some kisses and to reassure Ashley that he wasn't nearly as bored by their cozy pajama date as we were. At least his kisses are still better than Bentley's -- all hope is not lost!

The rain let up long enough for Ashley to get an adventurous date out of Ames (he still reminds me of a frog; I find it most unfortunate) who made her realize that she's been writing off guys before she gets to know them. Because of this, she decided to "break the rules" and add another rose to the ceremony, meaning that she only had to send one guy home at the end of the week.

Unfortunately, that guy was poor, sweet widower West, who opened up about losing his wife only to get the boot. Being the only reject had to sting, but I can understand Ashley's concern about being unable to measure up to the memory of his wife. Still, the dude was cute and obviously attempting to move on, so I'm sad to see him go -- especially since he was one of the few guys whose name I could remember.

Next week, the adventure continues in Chiang Mai! A city that none of the guys have heard of but all had to pretend to be excited about! Huzzah!

'The Bachelorette' airs Mondays at 8PM ET on ABC.

Did you attempt the Bentley drinking game? Do you think West deserved to go home so soon? Which suitor is your favorite so far? Share your reactions below!

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