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September 4, 2015

'The Bachelorette': Top 5 Moments We'd Forgo

by Lincee Ray, posted Jul 26th 2011 12:05AM
Ashley, 'The Bachelorette'It's fantasy date week people! A time where ABC drops our resident 'Bachelorette' and her remaining suitors in the middle of paradise, provides endless amounts of alcohol and crosses their fingers that the executives won't pull the plug when things get extra saucy during primetime television.

And with the fantasy date comes the infamous forgo card granting Ashley and her beau the opportunity to stay as a couple in a super posh suite with radioactive glowing blue pool water.

The most surprising moment was when Greek Groban decided to forgo the forgo card date even before the forgo was presented. The other shocking moment was when House Speaker John Boehner and President Obama made their cases on how to solve the debt crisis in the middle of Greek Groban's date. OPA!

Other than those two dramatic instances, the episode was predictable and a touch boring. Therefore, I give you:


1. Forgo the Baby Theme
Ashley was truly rocking a baby theme this week. Her wardrobe choices were straight from the halls of every junior high school within a 50 mile radius. I swear the inseam of her shorts had to be half an inch. That awkwardness coupled with her tendency to slide into baby talk on top of the Kardashian accent was troubling. Ashley, please forgo wearing your Cabbage Patch Doll clothes. And use your big girl voice.

2. Forgo Stalking
Dear Ryan,

Ashley's not into you.

Love, Lincee


3. Forgo the PDA
I'm going to go out on a limb and say that most of us do not mount our significant others in public in order to rub sunscreen all over their bare chests. Yes, applying SPF is important, but dry humping in front of everyone while applying is forgo-able. Save it for the fantasy suite, Groban.

4. Forgo the Shirt
You're in Fiji. Ashley's in her swimsuit. You're on a private island. She's groping you. It's hot. The water is glorious. Why oh why did you keep your shirt on JP?

5. Forgo the Rose Ceremony
Everyone, except Chris Harrison of course, looks like a tool when there are two roses to hand out to two guys. There's no need for dramatic pauses. There's no need for elaborate speeches. Just hand out the buds and drink your champagne. Sadly, that's 20 minutes I'll never get back.

Lincee Ray works in the oil and gas business in Houston, Texas. She has been recapping The Bachelor for seven years. In her spare time she enjoys frolicking on the beach in her bikini and drinking Dr Pepper. To read her entire season seven recap, go to www.iHateGreenBeans.com.

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