'American Horror Story' premieres tonight (Wed., Oct. 5, 10PM ET on FX) and, well, we're all a little torn.

Mo Ryan has her warnings, some of us are still intrigued enough to keep watching (albeit cautiously) and others are all in. Judging by the comments on our exclusive video of the first five minutes of the show, you're torn, too.

But one thing's for sure: This is a show that's way more enjoyable if you're intoxicated.* (*If you're of legal drinking age, that is. If not, you shouldn't be watching anyway -- this is the stuff emotional scarring is made of.)

To assist in your quest for the perfect balance of tipsy and entertained, we proudly present our 'American Horror Story' Drinking Game!

Now, get a bottle of your drink of choice ready ... it's gonna be a long night.

Take a sip/gulp/shot every time:
• A young girl says, "You're going to die in there!"
• You cringe from the sight of something preserved in a gross jar
• A random person who is not one of the Harmons materializes in their house
• Dylan McDermott shows off his backside
• Somebody is wearing a hat
• Somebody is being a peeping tom
• Somebody wearing a hat is being a peeping tom (Double drink!)
• You wonder why the Harmons didn't Google the address of their new house
• You wonder where all their money is coming from
• Jessica Lange suddenly appears
• Somebody is touching themselves
• A strobe light is used
• You want to save Connie Britton from this mess
• You find yourself saying "Why?" out loud
• Someone proves that you're allowed to say "sh*t" on FX
• It makes you think "I'd have moved the hell out already!"
• You discover that you're more emotionally invested in the house than in any of the characters
• You wonder what needs to be done to stop Ryan Murphy

Now that that's over ... if you can read this, your tolerance is better than ours!

Tell us: What'd you think of 'American Horror Story'? Will you watch more?