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April 18, 2014

'The Real Housewives of Miami' Season 1, Episode 2 Recap

['The Real Housewives of Miami' - 'Black Ball'd'] This series remains pretty lacking in the drama department. Although it's looking like C-SPAN compared to the other East Coast 'Housewives' in Atlanta and Jersey, let's give it a bit more time to gain traction. There's still a lot of cocktail-drinking, lounging and gabbing going on, but it was nice to finally see some of the Miami ladies at...

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'Bethenny Ever After' Season 1, Episode 1 (Series Premiere) Recap

['Bethenny Ever After' - 'Hoppy Trails To You'] "Look at how happy you are. I'm already dead and you're so excited. You're already dating some blonde, young, f**king loser who's 23 years old in, like, a pink cardigan. A**hole." -- Bethenny, to Jason, on how fast he would rebound if she kicked the bucket Ah, she's back. All fresh-faced and foul-mouthed. To start a new season of her renamed...

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'The Real Housewives of Miami' Season 1, Epsiode 1 (Series Premiere)

['The Real Housewives of Miami' - 'Paradise Cost'] We're obviously still at the point where everything is hunky-dory because it's the first "intro" episode and extra sunny because it's Miami and all. No reason to expect more than shots of people in cut-off shorts, boats on sparkling water and people with eternally beach-ready bodies. At least, not yet. The most dramatic moment we got --...

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'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' Season 3, Reunion Part 2 Recap

['The Real Housewives of Atlanta' - 'Reunion Part 2'] And, it's back to the ladies of "Haterville," as Phaedra, the funeral home director-to-be (????), would say. Except for a segment on absent fathers in which more tears were shared than insults hurled, the housewives continued to engage in a polite smattering of tiffs. In the end, the reunion was pretty uneventful, especially if you...

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'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' Season 3 Reunion, Part 1 Recap

['The Real Housewives of Atlanta' - 'Reunion Part 1'] Well, it was worth it to see dolphins swim past Andy Cohen's head at the Georgia Aquarium as he says "donkey booty." And we get a Part 2! While Phaedra detailing the intricacies of booty types might be entertaining in and of itself, thanks to Andy for not glossing over the marriage license conspiracy. Cynthia possibly would have,...

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'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' Season 3, Episode 16 (Season Finale) Recap

['The Real Housewives of Atlanta' - 'The Bride and the Doom'] Who'da thunk it? Familial subterfuge overshadowed the would-she-or-wouldn't-she question concerning Cynthia, the repeat runaway bride. It was clear that Cynthia's mom and sister had pretty major misgivings about Peter -- enough to scheme in full view of the entire Bravo audience -- but exactly how many snafus, besides the hidden...

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'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' Season 3, Episode 15 Recap

['The Real Housewives of Atlanta' - 'Floridon't'] As it rolled into the Miami estate, the bus from hell seemed more sinister than any piece of stuffed wildlife or painted ceiling faun in the place. Phaedra would've done better to point her proposed "holy oil" in that direction. In stark contrast to the whirling NeNe and defensive Kim, the centers of calm quickly became Phaedra, Shereé...

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'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' Season 3, Episode 14 Recap

['The Real Housewives of Atlanta' - 'Flamingo Road Block'] What better way to open than with Kim trying to light a cigarette off a tour bus griddle? The B-12 shot would surely make it all better. Of course, what was meant to be a little riff on Kim's age to loosen up the stiff Jermaine Dupri, festered into a full-blown Kim and NeNe disease. Baby Ayden's well-timed barf could stand in...

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'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' Season 3, Episode 13 Recap

['The Real Housewives of Atlanta' - 'Tour-Ture'] Phaedra might actually need to write a book on country rituals. First the coin-on-bellybutton thing, now the answer to her New York 'Real Housewives' counterparts' step-and-repeat: The sip-and-see. What's next? Her (kind of) heart-to-heart with Kim was rather unexpected. She was even kind enough to lure her out of her own post-baby celebration...

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'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' Season 3, Episode 12 Recap

['The Real Housewives of Atlanta' - 'Not So Fine Print'] 'You have a friendship contract and you're getting married with dinosaurs. It's something wrong with Cynthia.' - NeNe Things that were surprising, even at the end of the season: 1. Kim's face without makeup 2. Phaedra's supposedly copious database of Miami-based male strippers 3. Cynthia's plans to get married beneath a T-Rex and...

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